July 15 (Wednesday) ... it was a rough day as I continue to have reactions from the nausea patch. To give you an idea of the roller coaster I am on right now... I started the morning yelling at Michael over a return label he threw away not knowing I needed it. And I ended the day crying my eyes out with him because I felt so blessed to have God in my life and how much I want others to know God’s love like I am feeling.
Oh what a day it was too! I got to my radiation treatment at noon. Got started with the mask as usual. It was funny today because as they placed it on me it did not feel hard but more flexible. The mask did not change but my perspective about the mask did. I felt more in control of the process. They finished in record time of 8 minutes.
Then we moved to the back radiation. In this part of the radiation I have my hands above my head and I hold onto these short poles coming out of the metal bed. This helps me to remain still so they can position me. It is not difficult to do this for a short time. Mike knows that the treatment is easier for me if my eyes are closed so he is always sensitive to let me know when he has to enter my space. He will always tell me he is coming into the room and then touch my hand so I know he is there.
Today I felt a touch on my left hand but Mike had not told me he was there. I thought that was strange so I opened my eyes. Mike was not there! No one was in the room! The radiation had started and the nurses leave the room to not be exposed. And yet, someone was holding my hand. I could feel someone holding my hand!!! I closed my eyes again and took in this joyful presence of God being there with me. No need for music today. God was there holding my hand through my treatment.
And then I went to chemo. It was an easy one to end this round of treatments. Just four more rounds to go. The IV played some tricks on me but we got it done. I think my arms have just been poked too many times. But I will have two weeks to rest the veins before the next round.
Not sure if I mentioned but I am completely off pain medication again. I am trying to use only Tylenol as needed and I have not needed it. Yay!! Still minor discomfort in the back. Also I have a headache but we all agree it is most likely a reaction to the nausea patch. If it is still a problem tomorrow, I will call Dr. Drengler and see what he thinks I should do.
Glad to have a more restful day. Pretty boring day really. I am starting to really enjoy these boring days. Touched with just enough grace to keep me going on this roller coaster.
God bless!!!
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