Another Doctor and More Visitors

June 24 (Wednesday) ... Day 3 of chemo but first a stop off to have consult with my newest team member, Dr Zubyk, who will be zapping my back bone in the near future.  It was a nice visit and the most peaceful low key spot I have visited in the last two months. We will see how this part unfolds over the next month. 

Then home again so my mom could have a little outside care from her hairdresser. So thankful that my friend Nancy was able to meet me at home to enjoy a few quiet moments before taking me on to my chemo treatment. 

I had some blood showing up in my urine which can be a side effect. I told the nurse right away which caused some delay. But blood was drawn and chemo continued.  Halfway through the chemo my counselor came and tried to say the blood was other issues. It was frustrating and the other chemo patients probably got too much information about my life.  The poor man next to me, who just wanted a quiet session, got to hear it all!  Special prayers for my quiet Aggie class of ‘85 chemo partner. 

The final decision was to continue to watch the situation. Now let’s move on to other changes.  

 

The ultrasound sounds images showed enough that I now need to have biopsy of my thyroid. Wendi says I am a busy lady and when could I fit in a biopsy. Oh by the way, I already have it scheduled for Friday at noon!  Well I have my final follow up from my colon surgery (I have rescheduled this four times!) at 1:30 across town from cancer center. Wendi thinks will all work out!  Ugh!  God Please help me patient with Wendi!!!  

Chemo went well. I made it through round one!  

Met back with Nancy and we decided we had time to sneak over to a new geocache just around the corner from the cancer center. Yes it was safe. Yes I made the find. I was glad to have a my fingers dipped back into my favorite game!  

Then home again to enjoy the yummy meal Nancy brought with her. So wonderful to have it ready in the crock-pot when I got home. 

The older boys had gone to the movies and just arrived home at the same time I arrived. They came to me and said we had company. Surprise!  Two of Michael’s coworkers (and long time friends) arrived to share a gift basket and flowers from all the coworkers!  What a delightful surprise!  I am now set with a nice bag of goodies and miscellaneous books for those boring moments when i need to feel busy!  And the added bonus of a card filled with loving messages of thoughts and prayers!  Very nice!  Also enjoyed our talk about the beauty of life and trusting God. 

Now I rest and prepare for tomorrow’s radiation to my right lobe of my liver. The fight back is real and steady. Prayers for all to go well tomorrow. God bless.

Finding My Place Among the Sheep

June 23 (Tuesday) ... I had a thought while drifting off to sleep last night. I feel like I am part of Bible story you all my find familiar...David and Goliath. 

Now I am sure that this analogy has even been used for a person battling with cancer, but I am going to put my little spin on it compared to my life and experience. So get ready over the next few days as I flesh it out in my head and get it written down in my blog posts. 

For now, I will just say today was rough. Not because of the chemo treatment. Those are going well and I know that the first round side effects may come later or not come at all. I know that I might see the side effects more as i have more rounds. But this blog is about what I am going through at the moment, not what could happen to me down the road. 

So what made this day a challenge was what happened before and after the chemo treatment. So I will start back at the beginning.  I started out my morning getting ready with a shower. No big deal until what i thought was a small hair ball sprouted legs and raised his ugly stinger at me. I told the dratted whatever to stay on his side of the shower and i would stay on mine. I took a quick shower and got out yelling for my entomologist son to get himself in there and kill that insect. He of course wanted to identify it first, and after proclaiming it was not an insect but a common house centipede I told him to kill it. I had no need to make it common in my house!!!

Then I sat down to place an order for essential oils. They had just had a convention and lots of good deals I did not want to miss with “out of stock” messages. So I started filling my cart and that is exactly what happened. And then it froze up on me. So I finagled the site enough to get what i had ordered and tried to live chat with a representative to see if there was a way to pick up two other items that i really wanted to try. After the chat I was no further ahead but 15 minutes late for my departure time. 

My mom and i got on the road and immediately the skies opened wide and the rain was so hard we could not see the road ahead of us. We took it slow, missed a turn, got back on track, and made it to the center right on time. For those of you who know my mom and I, that means we were LATE!  Don’t panic just get in and get things started. Take a deep breath. 

The time for my mom’s parking lot sitting began at 9am. The temperature was a cool 80° with high humidity. I think my mom’s day was harder than mine. You will see what i mean as the day goes on. So while I was sitting in an air conditioned center having chemo, my counselor from previous day showed up to talk to me. I appreciate the prayers for her from my prayer warriors because she had a better attitude and even apologized to me from previous day. She then told me that I had some more tests for the day so that is why she came to see me. 

Dr. Drengler had looked over my scans again and saw a blip on my thyroid glands. He is not taking any more chances and wants me to have an ultrasound done for comparison. They set up an appointment to follow my day’s chemo. No big deal because it was just downstairs. It should have been an easy exam but I got a snippy tech and I was very uncomfortable. I am also wired and hypersensitive due to steroids. I was glad to have that behind me. 

He had also mentioned at an early consult that when all the treatments were complete I might consider genetic testing done. Now he is telling me that genetic testing is very important and they are going to draw blood to have this done today. Still not a big deal because at the end of chemo it was a simple draw of two vials of blood. I just think I have become his next medical journal entry. I have thought this before and I find it kind of interesting that i am unique enough case to have it down on paper outside of a patient file. Or maybe it is nothing. Time will tell. 

So we got through chemo. Blood drawn for genetic testing. Ultrasound done. My mom has now been at her parking space for almost four hours. Afraid to leave and go anywhere because parking is limited. She just read her book. We need to set her up with her own travel bag of snacks and drinks and time wasting material.  

We went for lunch. Again in the car because going inside a restaurant is out of the question with this dang Covid-19. Then we needed to find a place to go to the bathroom that was safe so we decided to go to my next appointment site. Yay!  It was a big enough place with parking and open enough inside to sneak past the guard dog temperature checking employees. 

Back out to the car for thirty minutes before I go in for my scans.  Now the temperature is in the 90s and humidity is bubbling over. But i have an appointment and all should go quickly. We will be home before we know it. Right?

I go in with plenty of time to check in before my appointment. I sat down and watched patient after patient check in and go straight back and then leave.  But I sit in the waiting area for an hour past my appointment. I finally go up and ask if i had been forgotten. A man in a suit told me that i needed to be patient and wait my turn. I gave a smart remark being on steroids gave me an attitude. It got me no where. OK. I sat down and my name was the next to be called. Alright we are getting somewhere!  

I got a CT scan done on the bone of my right femur. Dr. Drengler is concerned that if this bone is weak I could have a break and spread the cancer beyond the bone. Then I was sent around to the MRI unit to be told that I had an hour wait. Why did I even have an appointment?  I would not be taken into the MRI until after 4pm. Almost two hours after my appointment. I was dehydrated from chemo. I was tired. But more than anything, i was concerned for my mother who would now be in a car for at least 8 hours!!  

So I finally got my turn at the MRI. This one was to check the skull lesion. So just my head needed to go in. Nope!  He laid me flat on my back. Put ear plugs in my ears. Put my head in a cage. Stuffed the cage with padding. And then the tube from hell that kept getting tighter and tighter the further i went in. I could not do it!!!!  Get me out now!!!!  He pulled me out and ask what the problem was. I told him I was so dehydrated that I could not breathe. I needed a glass of water and i would try again. He said he would take another patient ahead of me. I told him no!  I was so afraid if I left that room I would just walk out. It had to happen!  

So he let me drink my water. He put me back in the head cage but did not put the padding around my head. Did he forget?  Did he show some mercy?  I don’t know but it was enough. I just prayed a Hail Mary over and over again for an hour. I must of prayed it hundreds of times. I got through the MRI. I left that building so fast!  

We got home at 5:30 pm. My mom and I were just numb from exhaustion. We did not even eat dinner until close to 7:30pm. We were blessed with a meal from our friend Brenda Mark. 

Then we had our family prayer time and i fell asleep. Missed my night dose of pain meds. I had already missed the earlier dose too. I didn’t care. I was so tired. But i woke up this morning and was glad to get that routine back on track. 

Praise God for what we were able to accomplish. Praise God for your prayers!

Learning the Chemo Routine

June 22 (Monday)... I had my first treatment today with no reactions. This is common for first treatment but one never knows. It felt good to get things started at last. 

This first one took about 4-5 hours. Then the next two days will be half the time. Since I had a good experience today, I should have an easy two days following. Then after a couple of days (this weekend?) I might see some side effects such as hair loss, nausea, vomiting, and aches. 

One thing I learned today was that this is just the first round. These 3-day cycles will take place every 3-4 weeks for six full rounds of treatment.  In between these treatments I will have the radiation treatments and more scans of my body. So not a lot of resting going for me these days and months ahead. 

I was glad to have the help today from Nurse Cindy. Also prayers for my chemo partner (God knows her name) who is fighting an aggressive breast cancer. Also special prayers for my “counselor” Wendi...God knows her needs maybe more than she does!   AND extra special prayers for my momma bear who is doing way too much but insists she is not doing anything. Find a way to give her a break and her willingness to take it. God knows I love her and she loves me. We need each other so praise God he placed her in our home for this time in both of our lives!  

A big thanks to Sandy and Cheri for the meal today and extra help too.  Praise God folks for the things you take for granted. Remember God is good all the time!  He is taking us in this path of FAITH...Fabulous adventure in trusting HIM!!!!

A Fun Way to Spend a Saturday

June 20 (Saturday) ... Michael took the crew to the zoo today to allow me time to rest. They had a great time.  Just before they were supposed to leave, I remembered two events I had hoped to attend. So rather than stopping the zoo trip, my sweet momma volunteered to take me to my events. 

One of my favorite things to do is play a game called geocaching. We have events for various reasons throughout the year and visit and discuss the game. Today the first event was to get together to clean a park trail. Although I knew I would not be able to clean the trail, I did want to attend to see some of my friends. It was so great to be there and breathe from fresh air and talk about something other than cancer. After a short time, I felt the need to sit down so some of the cachers joined me at my car so we could talk. 

Then we were off to the second event!  Same group of people but with a different purpose. One of my favorite caching buddies has worked hard to get to the top of the world chart....Numero Uno!!! And I could not pass up the opportunity to celebrate with him!  Although I was not able to walk the trail to get to the event pavilion, the event host was kind enough to pull out the sign and let me take a picture with Richard (Sparky). He was then wise enough to tell me to go home and get some rest. 

I had my great morning time and then went home to rest.  At some point in the later part of the day, my right shoulder began to have pains. This shoulder tends to hurt most day. However, the pain medicine does not seem to be helping now. 

Please pray for some relief. Most likely this pain is caused by pressure on a nerve.  Also without giving too much information...I just want to praise God for helping me with a little situation that was of concern related to next Thursday’s procedure.  I asked for a small prayer to be answered and God in his abundant love gave me this request. He is so good to me.  Now I am ready to fight this beastly cancer without reservations. 

June 21 (Sunday)... no news today. I realized my mistake yesterday evening...I somehow missed a dose of pain meds in the morning. I got back on track and had a great day today. 

Michael was so amazing today. Instead of enjoying a leisurely day of rest, he finished up some projects that will help make things easier for us this week. 

Tomorrow will be my first chemo treatment. I go in around 9am for a counseling session and then start the intravenous chemo. I should be there for 4 hours.  One thing Michael helped me do was set up Bluetooth earbuds. I hope to listen to music and Bible verses.  I am not sure how I will feel but if I am able I will send out an update tomorrow evening.

God bless you all!

Why Do I Write These Updates?

June 20 (Saturday)...  So I wanted to say something about my little updates. I started these for two reasons. First to make it as easy as possible to get information to my family and friends about my cancer. Second to have a journal for myself of how I deal with what is happening to me. 

I have loved writing for a long time. Although my elementary school teachers (Susan Loffer for one) probably remembers when I did not want to fill a page to complete a writing assignment. Writing allows me a way to digest the details floating around and make sense of them. Sometimes my posts will be a little long or go off track. 

So, when I am writing these updates it is fresh and raw thoughts put out there for all to read. 

I have heard that I am putting up a good front. Showing a brave image. Trying to act as if I can deal with anything. But the truth is...this is as real as it gets.  Anyone who knows me...knows that I don’t sugarcoat things. I tell it like it is. Sometimes to a fault. 

Through the last two months, I have never felt scared or worried. I am not angry or weepy. I truly believe God has surrounded me with what I need to deal with this. He has given me the grace to be uplifted. 

I try to tell the whole story minus the yucky bodily function stuff. After all, even I know one can give too much information. I doubt you want to hear that I got excited about having a bowel movement after my colonoscopy. And who of you wants to hear about feminine issues? Nope. You won’t see that in my updates. I will save that stuff for my medical journal I have going. 

So be assured...if you read it here then I am OK if I say I am OK. And if I am not then I will do the best to express that too. 

This weekend I will be praising God and enjoying the quiet that only a house full of children can give. I am going to thank God for the days that are boring because that seems to be a good thing. I hope you have a great weekend too!  God bless!

The Chemo Treatments Begin

 June 19 (Friday)... I finally got the phone call from oncologist office today. 

Next Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday I will have the intravenous chemo treatment. This will be the full body chemo to help fight back against the metastatic cancer. This is not to fight the cancer in the bones. It is really to wipe out any cancer cells that might not have presented itself at this time.  Thursday I will have the radiation beads through the embolization procedure. This will be done to the right lobe of my liver in hopes to shrink the liver tumors. 

At this time the plan is to follow through with the left lobe of the liver a month later. Also, there will directed radiation treatments to the current bone lesions on my skull, back, and femur. I will also have another CT scan to ensure the cancer has not spread to other areas. 

A big thank you to to all who are praying. Many are asking how I feel at this time. I think the pain medicine is working well. It all makes me very tired and foggy brain. Hopefully the updates I send out make sense.  

Praying for a restful weekend so I can be ready for next week.

Change of Direction on this Roller Coaster

June 18 (Thursday)... I think God gives me little breaks as I follow this path and this morning was one I enjoyed. This might sound silly to those of you who are not moms, but my break came in the form of being a mom to my children (at least the ones awake before noon...haha!). 

I woke up before everyone else (as usual) and puttered around straightening up the common catch all sites. Making piles for each child to take care of when they woke up. I thought about breakfast and decided on French toast. I even got to make a few pieces before my sweet momma took over the task. Then I worked on a geocaching project for one of the older boys. 

It was a “productive” morning for me because I was doing something for my family without taking a lot of energy. 

My plan was to call and make follow up visits with Dr. Drengler and my Dr.Brandon. I also wanted to talk to my finance guy. And I was going to look into getting a shorter hair style so my hair was out of my face while I worked through the next medical procedures. 

I was having a good morning!  Praise God for these moments of normalcy.  

Then I got a surprise call from Dr. Drengler around 10am. I started out telling him that I was just picking up the phone to set up a follow up. But I realized right away that this was not going to be a quick telemed social call to review what we already knew. He was serious and basically told me to sit back and prepare for some changes to the plan. 

He had seen the second CT scan from my Monday night visit to the ER. He had talked to my radiologist. He was very concerned about what he was seeing. 

Dr. Drengler told me that what everyone thought was just a small lesion on my back bone was actually the liver cancer aggressively spreading to my bones. He could see that the back bone is actually being eaten away at just about the spot where I was feeling the pain. He asked if any of my other areas in the bone were hurting me. I told him that I was having more headaches and they seemed to be in the area around my left temple. He voiced concerns about the cancer spot on my right femur. He says if that area weakens i have greater risk of broken bones or falling (not good as this could lead to cancer spreading). 

After we discussed the bone issue, he said the cancer has progressed faster than he has ever seen and we need to take action immediately. 

Basically, I described my new plan to a friend like this:

        "Today all appointments are blown to the wind and when the tornado settles down I will see where             I land."

Dr. Drengler still wants me to have the radiation treatment next week to begin work on shrinking the liver tumors. However, he also knows that I need help fighting the metastatic cancer in the rest of my body.  So he wants me to go through a three day full body chemo treatment. He would like the chemo to happen before the radiation mainly because chemo would have to wait at least five days after radiation. He is concerned that this allows the bone cancer too much time to eat away at my bones. 

So these two doctors have to meet and work out the details. I have to now regroup and figure out how to tell my family we have just been on one of those kiddy rides. We are about to get on one the biggest roller coaster rides we have ever seen. 

Funny story... I hate roller coaster rides!  Even the little Shamu ride is too much for me. But I went to sea world with the family on one the boy’s birthdays in early March. I promised him that i would ride a roller coaster with him for his birthday. The last time I rode a roller coaster I was tricked into it. I was 19 years old (Remember that Ginger?). Let’s just say that I truly was gifting my son this opportunity to see his mother in fear and panic. He picked the tamest ride in the park outside of the kiddy zone. I wanted to cry like a baby but I held together and bravely got on and off without too much trauma. 🤣 

So back to the cancer...I am in the holding area waiting for the new plan. I will update when I find out details. 

I thought I would put off hair salon but my mom was already on the phone making that happen. If you want to see my new ‘do check out my new cover page. It is short and I love it. I know it will only be this way for a short time. I already asked the hairdresser to help me shave my head if it does not fall out to my liking. She is a sweetheart and says she is here for me when she is needed. 

All the crew gathered for a nice homey dinner (thanks to a good friend). We had the joy of including Nancy as our guest for dinner. Then we called the other two adult children (only one available at the time) and I explained what was happening. All I can say is that we are one naive group. None of us have ever been truly sick. So when they compare the side effects to the flu, that does not sound that bad. The flu to us has been nonexistent. And usually we hear about it from other people after they are recovered so we do not know what the flu is like. Aches and pains...nope...we just work through that stuff. 

So basically we are on the fast track for the treatments. And the learning curve is going to be rough. But the one thing I do know. They are ready to help me in any way they can. God will love them through this!!  He is already squeezing me so tight in his hold that I have no where to look but up!  

We ended the night like we always do as a family. For those who do not know, our family has an 8pm prayer time time scheduled every night. We started this when Michael was on deployments so we could pray “together” even from a distance. 

So we had just sat down to pray when the phone rang. My oldest daughter called to find out why we were reaching out to talk to her. God is so good. She and I have not talked to each other for way too long. I let Michael explain the liver cancer. Then we talked about her visiting when all the travel issues could be resolved (she lives in WA state). Then we all just talked about silly things. But it was good. 

Prayers were prayed. Children were off to bed. It was a long day. The good and the bad mixed together. And then i slept. And the world continues to turn. And God gives us a new day!  Praise God in all of it!  Let us see what comes as it comes.