We Will Take the Good News When We Can Get It

July 29 (Wednesday)... I have been enjoying several days without incident. I have had high energy level and able to complete basic tasks around the house. I even enjoyed a nice drive out on some nearby country roads (for those who know me that means I added some smiley faces to my geo-map).  So not a lot to report other than lots of praise and thanksgiving for so many days filled with normal activities.  

Tomorrow I ask for special prayers. I will be going in early in the morning for my second round of liver radiation. This is another all day procedure and will like being very tiring. There is always the possibility of adverse reactions as well. 

Tonight I just rest and say some extra prayers myself. These prayers include any needs you might have to be lifted up to God. I pray for all my prayer warriors daily.  God bless you all!!

July 30 (Thursday)... When a doctor tells you he does not want to see you again, I have learned to take this as good news. 

I went in early this morning to have my second radiation treatment to my liver. I completed the embolization with little incident. Spent my three hours of designated time flat on my back to ensure I was not having any internal bleeding. I voiced my concern that my back bone was weak from radiation, so the radiologist ensured me that he would make it easier for me during the recovery period. And he did that with little side effects (only a slight headache) so I really had an easy time today. Ending the time with him telling me that he was happy to tell me that he would probably not see me again. Yay! 

 

The only excitement of the day came when I was leaving via the nurse driven wheelchair. We started out the door to the exit when we were stopped. The way was blocked by a nurse refusing to let us even open the door. My nurse turned back and said she had a different path. We came to a second guarded door!  She looked down at me and asked if I knew what was happening. I told her that I thought they must be transferring a Covid-19 patient. Yes, and now she was going to take me on a tour of the hospital. What should have taken two minutes, ended up taking 15 minutes. However, she was determined to keep me safe and away from the very sick patient. 

Once again, I am so thankful for my medical staff. I am sad to lose another great group of caregivers. However, so thankful this part of my treatment is over. Praying this radiation will continue to shrink those tumors down to nothing. 

At this time, doctors tell me this is only a way to keep the tumors contained within my liver. However, God knows the plan. I believe in his ability to shrink these tumors so they never cause pain and suffering again. Ultimately, I trust God to give me the time on this earth to complete my mission he has given me. 

I returned home earlier than expected and enjoyed a restful evening taking in the view from my sun room. Thanks for the prayers as I know the peace I felt was from the grace of God answering your unified prayers. God bless you all!!

July 31 (Friday)... Well the day after treatment always seems to be the worst for me. I really am out of sorts and then just fatigue. Now that we all know that here, we try to just let it go. I rest and the others do what they can to make things work. And if things don’t happen, we save it for another day. 

So not much to report for the day. 

I did make contact with the priest for a new parish that is trying to start. I had a big surprise that I will share tomorrow. 

Setting Goals and Meeting Them

July 26 (Sunday)... after yesterday’s post about how terrible I felt, I am so glad to report that the pain never came back. And I enjoyed my Sunday with quite the adventure. 

I woke up and I actually stopped...thought about how I was feeling. Thought about it again to be sure. No pain in my left shoulder area shooting out of my chest. No pain in my back. Only the “normal” (how funny that I now call this normal) back pressure that causes discomfort. I walked around and no change. I let out a sigh of relief. 

You see I had big plans for the day and I did not want anything to get in the way if at all possible. 

We went to Mass (the crew in person and myself via the video provided) to start out our day. Fr Jim gave such an amazing homily about the pearl of great price being salvation.  He also spoke about living in this world takes discernment to navigate with love and joy in spite of the weeds that surround us.  He also spoke to Michael before Mass about having someone bring my mom and I communion.  That would be so wonderful!  

We then gathered the crew and left mom behind (hopefully to enjoy a quiet day) to take a short trip. Unfortunately, we also had to drop Sean off at work but he was OK with this because he knew he would make this trip for himself in the near future (fingers crossed). 

Where did we go?  I drove the crew to the south side of Austin!!  It really was a short trip for us (our long trips could lead us on adventures even outside of the state at the drop of a hat in the ”good old days”) but it was also a trial run to see if my bag of bones (quite literally) could handle that amount of time in a vehicle. I figure discomfort is going to be there whether I am sitting in a chair at home or in a car. I have decided I need to learn to live with cancer instead sit at home all the time. I have no intention of zooming out the door all the time but it gets a person down even when i have a great view from my sun room. 

So, why did we pick south Austin on this lovely rainy day?  The goal might not make sense to most but it was a happy occasion for this momma. I will probably even go so far as to say I was more excited than my crew. We were meeting a geocacher from Austin to sign a logbook in an ammo can. Thankfully the rain stopped during the time we were at the practically deserted park. 

For those of you who have not heard my love for geocaching, just know it is a hobby where you look for an object placed by others who give coordinates on the map. Google it or ask me about it any time. 

So with geocaching, there are also challenges. And one big challenge is to find a geocache in every county in Texas (254 counties). It is such an accomplishment that it leads to a big occasion when signing the logbook. And this comes only after verifying that the geocacher has indeed met the challenge. As a family team, we signed the logbook 18 months ago in front of the state Capitol. However, individually there were a few counties the children had missed. So we helped them complete the counties (several extra miles on the vehicle and quite the adventure) just as the Covid-19 situation was coming into our lives as a nation. In fact, our last trip was taken to complete their counties with worries about our safety. We were even trying to decide if it would be safer to camp out in our car instead of getting a hotel for the night. This was also just before my painful experience that led to my cancer diagnosis. Again I say, God is so good...he knew my desire regardless of the somewhat earthly ambition to complete this endeavor and we were allowed this opportunity at just the right time. 

Then once completed (with our dear friend, Nancy also enjoying the adventure and goal met) all craziness broke lose. This made the verification process take longer. Which was also interesting timing because obviously I was not able to function well enough to take the crew on even a short trip until now. And so here we were on this day making it all come together to place our three youngest on the official record for this challenge. Celebrating would just be our crew, Nancy, and the keeper of the logbook...all keeping our social distance with masks on. Further celebration will take place at a special annual event next March (of course that will only happen if we can knock out this pandemic). 

We enjoyed talking about our adventures we had along the way. We talked so much that the honored crew got bored. They can not stand to sit for too long. Haha. But mission accomplished and a big hooray, especially for our little miss who is now the youngest person to complete the challenge, she was excited to pose for pictures before making the trip home. 

Sorry this is such a long post just to give you an update on how I am dealing with cancer. However, it was an important part of the journey for me. Once again, finding out how I will live with cancer. Making special days special without thinking about cancer. Being able to drive the miles needed to make it possible. Maybe even realizing that I did not even think about the pressure in my back all day because I left my “comfort” zone and lived outside of the pain. 

It was a good day. It was a long day. We came home and enjoyed dinner together. Mom had spent the day of quiet talking on the phone. She might have been just as exhausted as we were. Haha. 

After dinner, we had our family prayers. Then I enjoyed a nice phone call with a friend. Had a text chat with another friend to thank her for my cup of tea. 

Then something amazing happened. I have not talked about this in my posts but I have mentioned it to some who have visited with me. I have had such discomfort since March that I could not sleep in my bed. I have spent the last four and half months sleeping while sitting in a chair. Laying on my side was completely impossible. So a couple of nights ago, I tried sleeping in bed again but I could inly handle a short amount of time. But last night I fell asleep in bed and did not wake up until 4am. I was able to enjoy a full night’s sleep in my bed!!  I am telling you... I am learning to praise God for these little treasures more and more each day!  

So...a long post to really state that God is good!  I am so thankful for these moments. Taking a chance and living life to the fullest with God’s grace to see me through the difficult moments. I am so happy to be living through this roller coaster ride. I am so thankful for those of you who share it with me. 

God bless you!!

My Ducks in a Row

July 25 (Saturday)... I always said I was not going to have a sugar coated story of my cancer experience. So even though I know I am going to hear from family and friends (I know you love me!) about how I need to stop overdoing it on my good days, I am going to post about my experience today. 

I woke up this morning still feeling great!  I was glad to have another good start with energy to enjoy. I was able to make breakfast for the family. Then I had a virtual class (I have been working on this church project since February) that would last until noon. 

Everything was going great!  Michael even commented that I really must being feeling better. He probably said this because I was going through the house giving suggestions about what the family could do instead of cling to their mechanical devices of choice. A momma’s job is never done!  

I enjoyed my 3-hour class and felt blessed to be a part of the group in some small way. I am now one step closer to being a trained facilitator for the diocese. 

It was lunch time but I did not feel hungry, so I sat down for a short rest. Then I decided I needed to do something crazy...this might be too much information for some... but I took my first soak in a tub in FOUR MONTHS!!!  I am not even sure if I was released to do this because I had been advised not to do this along the way for various reasons. But I thought it through and none of those reasons were still an issue. Add to that, I still had the permanent marker drawings on my body from the radiation treatments. Those markings were not needed, so I needed that nice soak to remove the marks. 

I told Michael I was going in and to be close by in case my back seized up or I could not get out of the tub. No big deal!  I enjoyed my time with my duckies!  I got some peace and quiet from the crew. All was good!  I even got out of the tub without incident. 

However, when I made it back to my view from the sun room, I felt something was not right. I cannot even explain exactly how I felt. It was like I had heartburn coming out of my back. My back did not hurt but felt like it was going to explode there was so much pressure. Also the pressure was not in my lower back...the pressure was between my shoulder blades. 

I was sitting in my chair and telling Michael I was afraid to move. Then I had sharp shooting pain ...like a needle...coming out below my left shoulder. I was in such pain!  It was not a constant pain which might have been bearable. The shooting pain would come randomly and was very intense. My back also continued to feel pressure. 

Michael got my mom and she suggested I try to get up and move around. So I did this and it did seem to stop the shooting pain but my back continued to feel the pressure. 

This would continue off and on through out the evening. I am not sure what caused this to happen. I have never had any heart issues so I feel confident I am not all of a sudden having those issues. But I will be communicating these concerns with my oncologist to see if this could be a a side effect from any of my treatments. 

I am writing this the next morning and I feel fine again. Maybe I did overdo it. I did not feel like I did anything that strenuous. I thought it might have had something to do with the hot water since I was told not to use heat on my areas of treatment. But I thought that was only during treatment period. 

We will just see how this manifests itself now. Praying is my tool of action at this time. And I offer up any pain I am having for family and friends who are currently suffering the loss of life due to corona virus. I can only imagine their suffering is worse than mine as they mourn. 

God bless you!

Planning for the Children and More

 July 24 (Friday)... I woke up with so much energy even I was shocked!  

I spent the morning working on high school transcript for our soon to be senior. We needed to determine what his final year of school would look like to choose curriculum. Turns out he only needs four classes. Yay!  

I got so excited about how easy his year was going to work for us. So I pulled up the school plan for our other two little sweeties. We follow curriculum from a well known school of choice so it is easy to plan. Turns out I am only short one book for the 6th grade and consumable books for the 3rd grade. That makes me want to do a dance!  We could practically start school next week!  Children are saying nope!  We have always waited for the Monday after Labor Day with a review of books and schedule the week before. No rush!  

However, this got this school girl even more energized!  And it was a good thing because I had an early morning appointment with NP Wendy. Today we had Sean tagging along with us so we could take him to work. So off we went for the day’s adventure. 

The appointment brought good news from the lab results. I continue to show good counts on all the blood platelets and other markers. I still remain a little anemic but not low enough to worry as my iron remains on target. 

I asked a few questions about my health.  However, the best part of the visit was asking about being able to drive again. I have not been able to drive a vehicle since the beginning of May. I have now been released to drive so watch out world. Or at least within ten miles of our house because I don’t think my family will let me drive further than that distance. Besides no long road trips in my future just yet. 

When I made it back out to the parking lot, we still had 4 hours until my radiation treatment. So we decided to check to see how busy our local warehouse store would be at this time of day. We had tried for a month to get an order ready for pick up but it was never available. We knew we were going to need food supply soon. When we arrived it was surprisingly slow so we zoomed around the store with ease. Yay!  Mission accomplished without a lot of hassle or exposure. 

We then grabbed some lunch at a local diner. Yes, we ate inside where we could enjoy air conditioning. But they were super sensitive to keeping their patrons safe and they had amazing food!  

We were still an hour early but I decided to give it a try and go in early. It was like they were waiting for me!  I brought a small gift to thank the medical staff who made the radiation a good experience. They were so thankful!  I was early but they had a time slot available so I zoomed through my last zapping of the bones with radiation. Yay!!!  

I have not mentioned music since those first days on the table with my face covered with mask trying to breathe. This is mainly is because I never really had to focus on the music after that...prayer was enough. But I did think the song I heard today was fitting way to end. The song was “Rocket Man” by Elton John. Although the words really do not relate, I was so energized from the knowledge that bone radiation was complete that I think I could skyrocket right out of that room!  

But leave it to Mike to bring me back down to earth and be humbled.  Mike walked me out of the treatment area and said I was a good person. He was glad to call me friend but he was convinced they got the cancer and he never wanted to see me again. Oh I hugged him...I know I was not supposed to do it but I did!  I told him that I know his job is hard and he was the cheerleader of the group with his positive energy. I told him that we pray for all my medical team daily. He would not be forgotten as I tell my story!  A good moment to walk away with a confidence that prayers are being answered. 

We were so early that we had time to go home before needing to take Sean to work. Yay! 

 

And to add to the day... I got to actually drive a car today!  As fate would have it, we had taken one of the vehicles in for a small repair and the job was completed right after dropping off Sean for work. My mom was a little nervous because she was worried I would be too tired. However, I assured her I would be fine. She left before me so the company could finish washing the vehicle. It took a little longer than we thought so I felt like I was 16 again. It did not help that my phone battery was so low I could not call her. I pulled into the driveway with my Mom right there with her own momma bear look. Oh my goodness! 

What a great day!!!  Lots of good news and adventure rolled into one long joyful day.  Praise be to God!!!

Just Three Things!

 July 23 (Thursday)... three things today. 

First of all, I felt the first real effects of the radiation last night. I have known all along that the radiation was going to basically tear me down (zapping away at the cancer) so I could be built back up again. 

If the radiation did its job, my back (along with the other areas) will be very weak and need to mend. Last night I had severe spasm in my back. Thankfully the spasms do not last long and are not very frequent. So I feel like the best option is to keep my activity level low. I will also be meeting with oncologist tomorrow to determine any other options.  I suppose my other areas that have been radiated are also weak and will heal, but my back has (had?) the largest mass so it will likely take the longest to heal and need extra support. 

Second, for those who might be wondering from my latest posts...the school we chose for the youngest two turned out to not be the fit we had hoped. I feel even more confident that they will remain in our little one room school house. I will be looking for ways to keep then actively involved with other children.  The nice thing about homeschooling is the flexibility that comes with the structure. I look forward to year #23 of homeschooling. Time to get organized and have a plan of action if I am not well. 

Final thing to share..  Zaira asked me to guess how my hair will grow back. So we thought it would be fun to have a little poll. Join in the comments your choice (I tried to make a poll but I could not get it to work on my phone.)

Straight hair

Curly hair

Blonde

Same as before

Red head

Thanks for all who ate praying.  God bless!!

Uplifting Moments

July 22 (Wednesday)...I don’t have a real update but thankful for another day of bone radiation complete. Also, I know that my next round of radiation to my liver is planned for July 30. 

I thought I would share some uplifting moments from my day. 

Before I left for the day, our Little Miss came in to watch me get ready. She stood above me on the edge of the tub so she could watch me brush my teeth. Oh the joys of motherhood!  Who knew brushing teeth could be so exciting!!! Then she bent over to kiss me on the top of my bald head!  I told her she was very sweet. And then she says with a grin...I would kiss you more if your little hairs did not poke my lips!  Ouch!  Ha ha!!!  

Then I was off to have my eyes re-examined. I did not like the way my new prescription (from February) was working so I wanted to verify that the medications were not effecting my eyes. 

Due to all this virus, the owner of the clinic is allowing her employees to bring their children to work. One little sweetie (maybe 3yo) happened into my exam room while I was waiting. She looked at me for an awkward second (I was not wearing a cover over my head) and then looks me over completely. She then says... I like your toes!!  Before zooming out the door!  So sweet to find something nice to say to this old bald lady!   Ha ha!  

And then off to radiation. Mike continues to greet me and encourage me through the treatments. Today he asked how I was doing so I simply said I was well but momma bear had to come out to protect her cubs. He laughed and radiation proceeded. At the very end of radiation, he came up to me and bent down to whisper...”you are a better teacher then she will ever dream of being. And you have already forgotten more than she will ever know.”  

Wow!  I did not even tell him what i meant about needing to be momma bear. How did he know I was struggling with an assessment given to our Little Miss?  How did he know i had to defend my understanding of education to an administrator?  How did he know that I was starting to doubt myself after twenty two years of homeschooling?  And did he know that those words made me want to cry like a baby but also soar like an eagle all at the same time?  Nope!  He had already left the room to zap the cancer in my bones!  Ha ha!  

Little moments throughout the day that gave me joy!  But also moments that encourage me to make decisions. What a day!

Vulnerable But Not Neglected

 July 21 (Tuesday)...

One of the last duties added to my job before I resigned from my position was a class to teach about protecting our Vulnerable Adults. I loved teaching this class to our staff and volunteers. I felt as church, wanting to protect those who are participants in our various ministries, we should want to provide the best care for all who come through our doors. The class gave some helpful lessons in what a Vulnerable Adult meant and how to protect them from harm. 

I would always start every training with the following line...

"We never know when we will be the one considered a Vulnerable Adult. There are many ways to fall into this status and we will need others to care for us in a compassionate way."

I would then joke that I was in fact a Vulnerable Adult as an overworked staff member. 

Oh how I foretold my status and how quickly it truly can change!  

So I am now thankful that, although vulnerable due to my health, I am well taken care of by family and friends. I am truly blessed. 

So my update for the last two days is pretty simple. The radiation treatments continue to go well. I have no side effects from the radiation. I feel like I have to be town down to have my build itself back up. So my back continues to be a discomfort. But I am learning to work around it in small ways. 

Due to my lack of hair, the mask for radiation does not fit as snug as they like so they have to adjust it during the treatment. It is not comfortable but I know it is only a short time so I make it work. 

Mike continues to be a cheerleader for the cause. He takes me back to the treatment room and encourages me to relax so I can make it through the procedure. I am so thankful for my radiation team. 

The chemo round side effects are similar to the first round with fatigue, sore muscles and slight nausea.  I have been watching for signs of lower white blood count and I do believe my counts are down at this time. I now have inflammation of my glands so I think I am starting the downward slide. I now try to stay away from extra people. Not hard since i was already trying to stay away from people.  I have blood drawn on Friday so I will see if I am right about my body’s reaction. 

Meals continue to come. We enjoyed MOJO soup from Brenda Mark on Monday. And a fabulous stew from Don and Judy Francis today. We cannot thank all of our friends enough for taking this burden off our plate (pun intended).   

I was happy to hear from my dear friend, Holly Gonzales, today also. She called at just the right time as if she knew I needed to hear her calming voice. More on why that was needed in a later post when we work out details about a situation not specifically related to cancer. Regardless, I was glad to talk to a kindred soul at that moment. 

God bless to all!!