Total Pageviews

Friday, January 31, 2020

A Novena Surrendering to God's Will

I had determined that this year was going to be different. I had given up on traditional resolutions and had great plans to take control of my life and my family through a more spiritual approach. I think it is kind of funny to think back on that day now. 


I was going to take control...that truly was my thought...but in doing so my plan was to begin praying more for myself and others. I was going to follow a traditional Catholic method of praying various novenas (9 days of centered prayer) with intentions for different people throughout the year. 


My first novena was quite fitting ...a novena dedicated to surrendering to God’s will...which has now become the main theme of 2020 in our house. 


It is funny that even now I find it difficult to surrender. I trust God but I still want my hand in the pot. I even know that all that does to a situation is stir up trouble but there I am wanting control even as I pray to give up my control. If only I could let go and let God have it all without question. 


On January 1, I began the novena with the thought of giving over to God my control of my children. I felt like I was trying so hard to guide them away from difficulties. I think as parents we do this naturally. We want what is best for them so we try to take control of their decisions. So there I was giving that part of myself to God to take control. 


However, I found by the end of the 9 days that I had so much more to surrender. And I did not know if I could do it. I felt that I was being called to surrender my self directed identity as the Director of Religious Education. That was who I was and I did not want to give it up. But the urgency was there calling me in that direction. I struggled with that decision. I did not want to give up that control. I did not want to give up the responsibility that I had for others. 


And yet, God knew I had to give it up to save myself. And if I truly wanted to surrender and let God have control, then I had to let that go. The funny part about it...once I let go and followed God’s will, I felt such a peace wash over me. I still was emotional about the decision and felt such a loss in those last days on the job. I also felt very alone. I had no one to turn to for support. Those at work were trying to get me to stay which I knew was against God’s desire. I could not turn to my family and friends because I did not think they would understand how much I was losing by giving up what I loved. The struggle was real and almost like a battle within me to choose beyond my understanding. However, I knew that the decision was right because I felt at peace knowing it was the right choice to leave. Even when I was pressured to find a way to stay, I knew deep in my heart that I needed to walk away. 


So much more to say about control. I will write more on this later because unpacking this demon is complicated.

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Lessons of a Homeschool Mom

It is hard to believe today marks the beginning of year 23 of homeschooling.  I was a reluctant homeschooling mom that first year.  Devastated at what I was seeing at our school on base in Germany the day I went to register our oldest child.  When I returned home that day and looked around our living room, I realized we had already been schooling our Duck for the last year.  I felt I was educated enough with my college degree to handle a 5-year old who could already read small words and could count and add.

Add to this confidence, I had heard that the little neighborhood kinder-school would allow American children to enroll in the kindergarten up the hill from our apartment.  So with a talk with our Brave Leader, the plan was set to homeschool for the years we were in Germany.

I will never forget the first day I picked Duck up from German kinder.  She told me that she was going to teach the German children (and teachers) English.  I told her the idea was to teach her German.  Her response was that she would think about it.  Then I took her home and sat her in a desk to begin her real schooling.

No one was around to tell me what homeschooling was supposed to look like.  I just assumed that is would be like a school setting in our living room.  Turns out our sweet little 5-year old had her own ideas of what school should look like too.  So being a newbie at this whole idea, there was a lot of give and take AND tears that first year on both sides of that school desk.

What I learned that first year has stuck with me for the next 20+ years.  So here are my top five lessons for first time homeschoolers:

1.  Don't bring the school room to the home school.

It tuns out that there really is no need for a school desk in your living room.  Children learn just fine on the couch, at the dining room table, or even in a vehicle traveling down the road to unknown destinations!  Our Duck even taught us that a child can memorize Shakespeare upside down hanging off said couch (She told us she could remember better that way!).  Whatever works best for you and the child is what works best!

2.  You do not have to do what everyone else is doing.


The year we started home schooling we did not know anyone else doing it.  So I could not compare with others.  And it was the greatest gift now that I look back at how I was given that freedom to work out the details on what home schooling meant to us.  I struggled...I cried...I wondered if we were doing the right thing...but in the end it was our school and we made it work.  By the end of the first year, I had Duck tested by a professional company and they sent back the results that our now 6-year old was ready for third grade.  My reaction to our Brave Leader...WHAT HAVE WE DONE???  I knew that day that there was no turning back...it took another five years for me to finally admit that truth.  I would start every summer telling everyone that we would make a decision for the next year during our break.  I always realized by the end of the summer that we were enjoying the experience too much to go back to public or private school.  We had made homeschooling a lifestyle that we loved (or could live through the times when we did not love).

3.  Every Child is different.


One thing I learned quickly...no two children are alike...which means no two homeschooled children are alike either.  We found that as we added another child to our homeschool roster the experience was like falling off a tricycle going 100 mph on a zipline!  We made adjustments to the curriculum we had available and made it work.  However, we also learned that it would only work if we were open to the idea that the child was leading the way...guided by a parent who loved them and wanted them to succeed.  Sometimes this was forgotten over the years.  However, once we slammed ourselves into the brick wall at the end of the line, we were reminded of this and the adjustments were made.  Everyone was happier and the homeschooling continued.

4.  Every School Year is different.


One of the joys of homeschooling was knowing we could take it with us where ever we went.  In the past 22 years, we have moved several times and homeschooled through all of those moves.  We have schooled in:

2 countries (Germany and United States)
2 states (Texas and California)
and
12 different houses in 7 towns
(Hutten, Caldwell, Livingston, Lufkin, Pollok, San Antonio, and Monterrey)

Through all of our moves and even when we stayed in the same place for several years, we realized very quickly that things change.  We learned to be flexible.  Along with every child being different, every year we start out with a look at our location but more important the dynamics of the children we are schooling.  There were years when we designed our own curriculum, took advantage of other homeschooler expertise in a subject, joined co-ops, left co-ops, etc. However, in the end, we learned to be flexible with the circumstances we were given and make it work.  With each new child, there are also changes that had to be made to fit in time for each child.

5.  Take advantage of resources.


In all of our moves, we have always settled into the area by finding two places...the church and the library.  Once our spiritual needs were met, we focused on finding the one resource that has stayed true to our love of learning.  We have never been to a library...or met a librarian...that was not helpful in our quest for books that would help us in our studies.

Other areas of interest such as museums and historical sites have always been a part of our schooling as well.  In fact, our children have grown accustom to our road trips to various locations to learn the historical, scientific and social influence of a location and how it relates to what we are learning.  We love to travel and explore the areas surrounding our new home and beyond.





Along with civic resources, we also have taken advantage of other homeschooling parents and their knowledge of a subject.  We have also given back to other families over the years.  If a parent knows a language that our child found interesting we were glad to send them to study under that parent.  Duck learned to speak German, Spanish, Latin, and Greek thanks to other parents.  Our other children have also taken classes from other parents.  I have taught math classes to many children at all levels of study.  This is a great way to tap into subjects that we were not able to teach adequately.  The homeschooling community has always had the ability to share.


AND so we begin year 23 of homeschooling just a newbie with experience.  We look forward to seeing what the year will bring us.  We have now graduated three children plus helped a fourth along her way at the end of her schooling.  Successfully sent two away to college and one to trade school.

This year we are down to three students...an 11th grader, 5th grader and 2nd grader.  We spent the summer deciding what this would mean for our family.  We have a lot of adjustments to make with me working full time at the church and getting older child to work also.  But we got this!

Wolfgang
Snookems

                                                                                                                            Little Miss










Saturday, October 28, 2017

Who Woulda Thought

Well, it has been a while since I last posted.  I tried a few days ago but it just did not happen. 

So...this happened today....


No...not making my bed!  I do that every day!  But last weekend, I convinced our brave leader to help me clean out our closet, which led us to this...


Not only did we take all the clothes and STUFF out of our closet...but also the carpet and some extra clothes rods!  We went from de-clutter to re-do in about 30 minutes!  All I can say is...this guy is pretty awesome! 

Unfortunately, it meant our bed looked like this...


AND....we were sleeping on the couch this week!

Jump ahead this weekend...and our brave leader willingly took our two youngest littles on a camping trip.  They joined up with our Little Miss' girls group (American Heritage Girls).  I had to stay back and take older boys to work.  I know I had the easier job (even though I was up until 1am) as he was sleeping in temperatures near freezing point! 


I got the boys up early...hopped in the car and joined up with the campers this morning!  We had the amazing joy of teaching the girls about GEOCACHING!!!!!  YAY!!!!  We had a great time and enjoyed lunch before heading back to get the boys back to work!  Our brave leader now took on the THREE youngest ones!!!! 

Once I got everyone to work, I was actually left in the house ALONE!!!!  WHAT?!!?!?!  I don't think I have had this happen in a LONG TIME!!!! 

What is a momma alone to do? 

Well...I thought about it and decided the best way to use my time...


I got the bed cleared off and bed made again...not for me...but for my brave leader!  I figured he would appreciate having a bed to sleep in again after seven days on a couch and two nights outside on a hard bed of blankets!  I hope he knows how much I love him!  Sometimes it is the little things that can show how much you care!

So...hopefully...this is my jump start back in the blogging mode.  Much to tell...I look forward to sharing our crazy mixed up beautiful life!  Who woulda thought it would take a cleaned off bd to get me going again!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Double Four!!!!

So today is my birthday...but oh so much more...some would say it is Groundhog's Day...but that is just silly...we all know that in the end we still have to wait for the cycle of life to unfold and wait for Spring to come in six more weeks!

BUT...there is still more about this day that I love so much...it is the Presentation of the Lord...also known as Candlemas.  We celebrate yet another revelation of the Lord...this time at the Temple when Mary has met the regulations of purification and is allowed in Temple to present her son to God.  Of course, we know that he is our Lord God who is revealed to Simeon and Anna as their people's Savior.  Because he is the shown as the light to all the world, we come together tonight at Mass to have candles blessed to show that he dispels the darkness.  A wonderful tradition of the blessing candles so that we too can remember that Christ is the light we must follow.

Going to this special Mass was a great way to end my birthday.  Or so I thought it was over...turns out the children made me a special dessert of Tiramisu!  SO YUMMY!!!

It was just one more way they showed me that they love me today.  They started out with breakfast in bed (at 4am!!!!) and then I had a special treasure hunt to find a geocaching picture hidden away in the cupboard.  After a morning of scrambling around...I picked up Henry and he took me to lunch at an Asian buffet.  Very good!  He was then informed to keep me busy geocaching at a local park so I would not go home before they finished dessert.  A fun way to spend the day!

We arrived home just in time to have dinner before going to Mass.  A delicious meal that I always enjoy.



In the end it was a great day...I always know that I am loved at the end of the day...so thankful for my family and friends!



Friday, December 23, 2016

Family Ties

I have started this post several times but I never seem to finish it.  Many opportunities to show how much I love my family these months since returning to Texas.  I am so thankful we were close by as my mom and brothers needed a helping hand.

I would be remiss in my blogging journeys if I did not talk about this past summer.  I think that with all the every day activities...the bustle of our lives in the routine...sometimes we must be shaken to remind us that we are not in control.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we never know what curve ball will be thrown our way.  Just when we think we know it all and have life "figured out," something happens that throws us off course.  However, if our life is already on course with God, we should be able to stay on the road and keep moving forward.  Unfortunately, this is not always the way life goes.  Sometimes, we are already off course...other times we are thrown off course instead of gripping the wheel and letting God lead us.

When we returned from California, we were already slightly eschew...trying to figure out how to adjust and make it all work.  We were trusting in God to help us...but we were still in that tail spin!

Then we had another curve ball thrown our way...I had just been to a funeral for my sister-in-law's father.  As we were leaving, we received a phone call that my brother, Nathan, was being taken from one ER to another hospital in Houston.  He was being put into a drug-induced coma.  We did not know if he was even going to make it through the night!

My mom and I decided to make the drive to Houston...not knowing what we would encounter.  Looking back now these many weeks later...we were scared but we also knew to pray.

Thankfully, he had the doctors he needed to stabilize him and after several days he was well enough to have open-heart surgery.  Funny to say it that way but we were so grateful that he would have that surgery.  There were definitely moments when we thought he would not make it to that point!

Day he was released
We took his son home with us for a few days and tried to help him understand that God was in control.  We even had a chance to go to a special prayer garden where he could pray for his dad.  I hope they all realize the importance of God's hand in their lives!

When he was finally released from the hospital, he recovered at our mom's house.  I would take him to his doctor appointments.  Now nearly six months later, he is going to be starting a new job and he is feeling better than he had in a long time.  I am so thankful for God's answer to our prayers...and proud of Nathan for his hard work in adjusting to a new healthier lifestyle.  I am also thankful for our mom who has worked so hard to make it all possible.

Just when this situation was resolving, we were hit with another whammy!  My older brother, Damian, also called to tell us he was going to have by-pass surgery.  He had gone into a routine doctor's visit due to insurance changes, and they told him he would need to have the surgery.  When he asked when he should have it done, they told him they were admitting him to the hospital immediately!

Once again our mom and I huddled together to work out a plan of action.  Unfortunately, I was not feeling well, but it all worked out for her to go down to the hospital.  Prayers answered...I waited for surgery and recovery time in hospital without being able to help.  However, I was there for his release...and later doctor appointment.  I was once again thankful that I could help...grateful for my brother's health and for our mom who worked so hard during the recovery in her home.

Through it all...I can only say that God was with it through it all.  My brothers continue to stay with our mom as they adjust.  This would never have been possible if we had not moved back to Texas.  SO...I am also thankful for the foresight to return.  God is good...he knows our needs before we do...I continue to be in awe of His plans.  I think he truly wants us to be bound together as family...it is through these family ties that we are able to help each otehr when we are down.

God is good all the time...and all the time God is good!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

A Full Day with St. Nicholas


We love celebrating our holiday season a little different then most.  We actually take the time during the days leading up to Christmas to prepare our hearts for the coming of our Savior!  No decorating our tree or gift shopping...instead we think about how we need to change to be ready to stand before the manger scene on Christmas morning...giving the best of ourselves to the baby Jesus...in hopes that one day we will stand before Jesus...the just judge...and enter into heaven...our ultimate goal!

SO...when we try to better ourselves, we look to the ones who have gone before us...the saints...the Church Triumphant...for ways to live our lives for that goal!





Today, it is the feast day of St. Nicholas of Myra....many know him as Santa Claus.  The real man was not a jolly fat man flying through the night with his reindeer.  You can read more about him in my companion blog...here.

Our family tradition is to place our stockings or shoes out on this day...just as many families do on Christmas Eve.  However, we try to focus on things that are needed along with a little sweets and treats!  We also receive St. Nicholas notes that give us ideas of how we can improve as we patiently wait for Jesus.

This morning that meant waking up around 6am...this allowed everyone to listen around the table as we each opening our stocking...before dad and one of the boys left for their day.  It is always a joy to listen to these notes and enjoy a fruity breakfast.  Along with a few necessary items, I was able to help St. Nicholas slip in a small toy for each of us!

Our morning continued with trips to college...work...and dentist!  The boys even had a couple of teeth wiggle out during their cleaning!  Then a round about as we headed to the down town area for a laser show for the older boys.  While we were waiting the younger ones and I enjoyed our hobby of geocaching...taking us to historical cemeteries and fire stations!  The little ones were even given a special gift of sitting in a brand new fire truck!





Back home we gathered...took a nice walk to place some new caches...then a fun Greek-style pizza dinner (one of our favorite meals and with St. Nicholas being a Greek saint it works for us.)!


Through it all we tried to be the light of Christ for all those we met.  We prayed for those around us...the policemen...the firemen...those who have lived their lives and who are now at the mercy of God...those buried in the many cemeteries we visited today!  It was a full day but enjoyed by all!



Friday, November 11, 2016

Veteran's Day 2016

I have read a lot of posts from fellow Facebook feeds this week stating that they are not proud of our country...this makes me so sad...I just cannot believe that this country is so divided.Today we were able to go to a Veteran's Day event and I realized (I really have always known) that I am very proud of our country.

I met with some amazing men and women who have been brave enough to serve our country in the worst of times...and come back stronger...they did that for us regardless of how we vote...whether we burn the flag...whether we kneel or stand at attention during the national anthem...whether we hate them because of the horrors of war (Don't we all hate that, especially those who lived it!?!) or cry when we hear Taps at yet another funeral.

The veterans...of all branches...chose to give their lives for our freedom...some will never return to us and others come to us broken and in pain...but they are all heroes in my mind...and they make me proud to be an American.






State Senator Donna Campbell joined us





There was a young group of children who sang for us today.  They were so sweet and truly showed that they cared for those in the audience.  They were not showing signs of fear...they just sang because they love our country.  Let us all learn from those children.

Hey!  Also, a big shout out to Chipotle... they served us dinner tonight for half price even though our veteran is off in Pennsylvania...God love him!...they thanked our family for our sacrifice as well.  So kind of them!


God bless America!