Focusing on the Good News

September 9 (Wednesday)... I guess you could say that I got good news and bad news today. Dr. Drengler and my mom say I should focus on the good news and be thankful for the progress made. And I AM thankful for all the good news, but I am such a goal oriented person. You know I have to fight back the urge I have to take control. It is just driving me crazy! I can see why Christians flogged themselves. It’s like I want to beat that urge out of myself. But I won’t do that. I think i will start playing some praise and worship music instead. 

OK. I have the music going. Enough beating myself up about my failings.

 

The good news is that the radiation to my liver has reduced the liver masses by 60-70%. Dr. Drengler was especially pleased by that news.  There also appear to be no new lesions in my liver. 

He also talked with me about my genetic testing. The cancer is not a genetic mutation that can be passed on to my children. Also, there is no genetic indicator that my parents passed this mutation to me which means my siblings and their children do not have a chance of this cancer through genetics. That leads him to believe the cancer is just bad luck through some unknown environmental source. I am supposed to follow up with a genetics counselor in the near future. 

The bad news to me was the discussion we had about my back. As you know from my past posts, I have never fully recovered from the cancer in my lower back (T10 vertebrae). The pain is not bad enough for medication; however, I have felt a bulge there for about three months. I had hoped the discomfort would go away after radiation to the bone. Although it was better, it never felt right. Well, the scan showed that I have a compression fracture. So, Dr. D is suggesting I meet with a neurosurgeon to repair that vertebrae. This consultation should happen sometime in the next month. This surgeon will likely want an MRI done before the procedure. You all know how much I love that scan!  

I will have my next round of chemo treatments(#5) next week. Then I will have round 6 in three weeks. After these treatments are done, he would like me to have another PET scan done. However, it will be a different procedure because my liver cancer did not show up as it should have in my first PET scan.  I will also have a bone scan done. 

Three points I want to make clear. 

Number 1...My treatments will not be over in October. Dr. D made it perfectly clear that at the end of round six chemo I do not get to ring the bell to celebrate. For those of you who have not experienced cancer, this is a big deal in the cancer world. We already know I will have more chemo in my future. I kind of knew this going in so I am not surprised. I just want my prayer warriors to know because I still have a long road ahead of me. 

Number 2... many have asked why they do not just remove the affected parts of my liver. Others ask why the doctor does not add me to a liver transplant list. I have read about these options myself and it sounds like a plausible solution.  So, I spoke to Dr. D about this today. I wanted to make sure I was correct before sending this out to all of you. He told me that this option is completely ruled out for two reasons... I have a healthy liver that is functioning around the tumors. But more importantly, my cancer has already metastasized beyond my liver. This means that any attempt to remove my liver would likely cause this aggressive cancer to spread. So, this is not an option. 

Number 3...I ask that you continue to pray. I do believe in miracles but we also need to be realistic. I am living with cancer. We will be maintaining to reduce the size of the liver tumors. We will have preventative chemo to reduce the spread. We are holding out for better options in the future, but these are the current options. I trust my oncologist to help me through these treatments. He continues to emphasize that he thinks about my case often. 

Most important in all of this is my continued trust in God. He is with me and he loves me, my family and all of you!  He does not leave our side in these times of struggling. And I know that I am not in control  See...no flogging necessary...I already knew the answer. Maybe the praise and worship music helped too!  

God bless you all!  God is good all the time!