Then a quick shower (I was given nausea medicine on a patch that was supposed to last seven days. I was told to put it on the night before chemo, which I did yesterday. However I was told I could take a shower without it coming off. Well that did not work so i had to take a shorter shower. That was OK because my hair was falling out like crazy. There must be something about the shower that stimulates hair loss. I have posted a picture to show how much is gone. I suppose I have thicker hair then I realized because when i look in a mirror I still have plenty to see.
I got dressed in a comfortable dress for chemo. At the last second I decided to take some shorts and an under shirt in case I needed this for radiation. Then we were out the door to join rush hour traffic. Arrived early to radiation treatment. But I must have been very anxious because I was shaky from the anticipation of the mask portion.
Glad I brought the change of clothes because it made a big difference in my radiation treatment. Mike was glad i was making his job easier. Yes! So glad I got that message from above because anything to help make it easier is a good thing.
Into the mask... let’s get this over with because no way to make it comfortable. Mike and Karen got the message and proceeded. Then I realized a song was playing in the background. I knew the song (Lady Antebellum- I need You Now) was once a popular song and I always would change the meaning of the chorus to a more spiritual meaning. So it seemed that the chorus was on repeat for the duration of the mask portion of the radiation. I know this is not possible but it is what happened in my mind. And it fit with my continuous prayer ... Jesus, I trust in you!!!
And then the mask portion was over!!! What had been an estimated 20-25 minutes was completed in ten minutes!!! I looked up the song later on and it only lasts 4 minutes in its entirety. All I can say is that I heard the chorus the entire time. The contrast of the song and my prayer was like a battle of the wills because I knew deep in my soul that I was not alone. Jesus was with me! Then the radiation treatment continued without any issues and i left the building in less than an hour.
On to my next appointment with oncologist and chemo treatments....
I arrived at Dr. Drengler's appointment early but went in and had a nice conversation with his prep nurse while she gathered information and blood for labs. Then I went into an exam room to wait but not for long.
It seems Dr. Drengler and I have a new start to our consultation visits. He walks in and I ask how he is doing. He says that is his question for me. But I smile and say...But I asked you first! He smiles back and says he is doing well. Then we begin the review of my days.
Today he looks tired. Please pray for this man who is doing such a great job. He is literally saving my life. God has placed him with me and I want him to be showered with prayers of blessing.
He told me that I am looking great and he is pleased with my lab work. I am what he considers a late bloomer. A patient on chemo usually has white blood count crash after the first week. My crash came at the end of week two and it was low. He is now concerned that I might have been even lower had he checked my count 2-3 days prior. So he is changing my lab checks to provide that needed information this round of chemo. If my count is low this time around we will need to add another mix to my chemo treatments. This is an imuno-therapy for the full body chemo to help boost my overall ability to fight off infection.
He then explains that he also knows of a imuno-therapy that would help my body fight the cancer cells. It has been used for other endocrine cancers but not specifically for the liver so somewhat experimental (previously used for lung cancer) and might not be approved by insurance. Also it would need to be administered by a different oncologist. He seemed to suggest that this would be my call to proceed. However it would not happen until after radiation and second embolization. So pray that we know the right choice when time comes to decide.
I have a date for the second liver embolization. However, he has a plan to discuss with liver radiologist. So, the date might change. We have time for them to consult and make a decision.
I then asked him a simple question. I told him I was not here to judge but my curiosity had got the best of me. I needed to know how many liver cancer patients he had worked with in the past. He kind of gave me a funny look and reminded me that primary liver cancer was quite rare. He tried to force the cancer diagnosis away from this result but it always came back to primary liver cancer. Aggressive liver cancer that had spread. I told him I understood the situation. He said he has worked with various endocrine organ cancers in the past. He was confident in his choices for my care. I told him that I was confident in his care also. I told him how proud I was of his willingness to give so much of his time for me. I truly think that had he been able to give me a hug he would have done it at this time.
Then he looks at me and says... you are a lot of work! And that was my confirmation that he is thinking about my case a lot. He wants good results. And I believe he is the doctor for me. He will not give up on me.
I then asked if he had a solution for my mom’s time in the parking lot. He said that this virus is scary and he had to follow the rules to protect everyone involved. I told him I understood. I had already sent my mom home to avoid another 8 hour day. I had my friend, Nancy, pick me up again.
So we ended the consultation and on to chemo...
Made it to chemo treatment on time and found out I was back with my first round Nurse Cindy, who loves how I keep my toes sticking out of my covers. She is so attentive and loves to hear stories and tell her own stories. A great companion for this time. After all we are together for 2-5 hours for this three-day round of chemo. We might as well enjoy it.
I take it slow and think about as little as possible. I do think of those who I need to pray for healing of all types- spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. Four hours plus prep work makes for five hours of prayer time minus Nurse Cindy and I talking.
I did see the nice young mother who sat with me on the first day. She was on the other side of the room but I gave her a wave. And when she was leaving for the day she stopped to talk. She is getting her chemo closer together and is almost done with her full treatment and looking great! We will most likely not see each other again.
At the end of my treatment, I was telling Nurse Cindy about my mom’s long days in the parking lot. Also, how we had a long break between radiation treatment and chemo with nothing to do. So she told me to not wait for chemo. I could come early and she would fit me in to her schedule. That is a huge help! We will now finish tomorrow at noon instead 3pm. And even though we have no way to get mom out of the parking lot. She will not remain there into the worst of the heat.
Now we try to figure out Wednesday treatments. To keep everything close together. After this I will only have the radiation for no more than an hour (hopefully 30 minutes!) where my mom can at least sit in a shady spot under the shade of a parking garage. We can do this!
So I leave chemo treatment without any reactions to meds again. And Nancy texts to say she is in the parking lot just as I am entering the elevator. Perfect timing!
I head off to see what is happening at home...Remember that bad choice of a lasagna breakfast ... I ate that breakfast around 6am. I could not find a lunch to take with me so I chose plain crackers from the bottom of my purse. That was my second bad choice of the day.
So imagine...I am on an adrenaline rush from my anxiety of wearing the mask...then I am given an anti-inflammatory steroid as part of my chemo treatment...and i have not eaten well. I was hydrated so I had that on my side. But let me tell you... I was shaking from the jitters like you would not believe and I had a terrible headache.
I asked Nancy to stop and pick up something to eat. I tried to eat it but just could not eat in the car. So got home and told everyone to just let me have a few minutes before they talked to me. I ate my meal and sat for a minute or two.
The children had not seen me all day. They missed me and wanted to just be with me which meant chatter. My mom wanted to hear update. Nancy wanted to stay for just a minute before heading to her own commitments. I listened and gave information. But I was wiped out. It really took into the next day to calm down from the jitters. I will never make that mistake again! A terrible feeling.
We were brought a meal from our dear friends...Sandy and Cheri Tummelson. We all enjoyed it very much.
At dinner the boys all decided to go see a replay of a Star Wars movie at Sean’s theater. I told Michael to take Zaira too. I knew the theater was being cleaned properly and not a lot of people were going. Turned out to be true with only one or two groups there. And it got the crew out of the house so I would not strangle them all. Quite a possibility in my state of being at the time!
So here is a funny share to help understand how out of it I real was...Before you move on in the story check out the attached screenshot of a cluster of texts sent to my friend.
I sent that message right after Michael left with the crew around 7pm. Then I went to sleep for just under two hours. I saw she had replied. So I reread my message (I do this for my text threads when there is a gap in time) and saw her reply and I laughed at myself for about ten minutes before sending out my own reply. Too funny for words!!!
Then I decided my mom needed to see the humor of it all, so I started to walk to her side of the house. Just as I was passing the hall way to the bedrooms, out pops Little Miss to tell me she was playing a game on her tablet. She just about scared the radiated hide off me!!
Continued on to my mom with her in tow.
One thing that happened with Dr. Drengler is a discussion about my pain meds. We wants me to try to go without and see how I handle the pain. I can always go back on at any time. So I did not take my mid-day dose (I was in chemo treatment at the time so it was an easy skip.
When i went to find my mom, I mentioned I had a headache so she suggested just a regular Tylenol. So that ended up working. No pain else where. So I think I will try to postpone the morning dose of pain med as far out as possible. Don’t worry ... my mom is a nurse and she will be watching me like a hawk!!!
The boys came back from the movies full of energy. I am so glad I got to rest a little before that happened!
We said our family prayers two hours late, but thank goodness God does not care the time or place!!! Just pray folks!! And so ended another day with cancer. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of praises too! God is good!!
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