December 21 (Monday)...
Let me start by saying that sometimes when you have cancer you have to become a little bit of a hypochondriac. All of a sudden, every little ache and pain or sniffle makes you think of cancer. Has the cancer spread? Should I make a big deal about this or let it go?
So after almost two weeks of reasonable health and enjoying no medication that would cause me side effects, I spent the last three days with neck and back pain, as well as headache. Since I knew I was going to see Dr. Drengler today and it was the weekend, I tried to just deal with it for the short time. However, I could not help but wonder if the cancer had spread again.
Today was also the day we would discuss a new game plan for treatment. So, off I went to the clinic.
I had a problem right from the start...the nurse could not draw blood from my port and had to use my vein in my arm. Not to bad since their was a quick solution but I would still need my port accessed for today's treatment.
Then I met with Dr. Drengler and we discussed the last two weeks of "rest" and how it had taken me several days to fully recover. He did note that my platelets were low and we needed to consider what to do to help reduce the strain on my body. However, he would like me to try the same treatment for another round. He lowered the dose and added some medications to help reduce the side effects. I am a little nervous to start the treatment again tomorrow. However, I am willing to try a second time knowing that I can stop if it does not go well.
We also talked about my pain over the weekend. He told me that I was right to be a little concerned. If the pain continues over the next two weeks or is worse at any time, he will order another MRI to see what is happening. For now, we will just watch and see.
Then I went for my monthly treatment to help with keeping my bones strengthened. It should have been a quick IV dose. However, the port would not function and it was determined that I had a clot at my port. I would now need to take a blood thinner to break up the clot before starting treatment. While I waited I was able to get my shot (hormone repressant) in my bum. I still had a knot from the last month's shot, but I just got to switch sides ... to keep it even... who knows? Haha
As I waited for the blood thinner to take effect, I began to read a book I was sent from a friend...Through the Valley of the Shadow of Cancer...an interesting read...in some says I can relate and in other ways I would not agree....it just shows that everyone's walk with cancer is different. For instance, the man across from me (Jim) was having a terrible side effect from the medication...I hate that we can not have companions with us during treatment. This man truly needed someone to hold his hand and tell him it would be OK. I talked with him a little and told him I would pray for him. The nurses just do not always have the time to be there to comfort. It is sad. And once again, makes my little problems seem like nothing. Jim will be in my thoughts for some time...watching him having so much trouble and truly afraid of what the medication was doing to him....and trying so hard to be strong and push through the pain. All the while encouraging another patient who was having treatment for the first time.
By the time I was finished, the blood clot was thinned out enough to have me bleeding every where...so I waited a little longer to have it under control. Then I went down to pick up my dreaded refill of the medication. I can do this...no worries! I just watch for the warning signs and take the medication to control the side effects.
To be quite honest, today was too beautiful a day to be concerned about medication. Besides, why borrow trouble...maybe the new plan will work. I continue to be optimistically naive that the plan of action is doing some good. I have read all the paperwork on the medication again and I pray for the best results. As one of my friends told me today...imagine how the suffering you feel is helping all of us. So I guess I can take one for the team. Let it be known...I will be holding you all in my arms as I am dealing with be treatment for the next two weeks. Send me your prayer needs and I will lift them up with any pain or suffering I am feeling. I especially will be praying for all our family and friends suffering from COVID that they may find healing.
And after my long day at the clinic, I am also reminded that God is with us...we watched the "Christmas star" line up so brightly in the sky tonight. A beautiful sight through our telescope. God is so good!!!
God bless you all!
COMMENTS
Linda Izaguirre
Sending you hugs and prayers
Linda Austin
Oh Michelle, your journal is uplifting. You suffer but still make cookies and other Christmas treats for others. You include all of us as you fight for life. You are always in my prayers.
Toni Kimpel
Praying you tolerate the new meds and it does the work it is meant to do.
Jean Moses
Extra prayers will be offered in your behalf for the medicine to be effective without the horrible side effects you experienced last time. When I take medicines, I pray over them like I do food and ask God to bless the medicine and may it do the good it should and no harm. May you feel God’s courage and peace
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