June 13 (Saturday)...last night I told my mom I was going stir crazy. Cabin fever had set in and I was so anxious I felt like my skin was crawling.
Turns out that was not the problem. I had a reaction to the anti-inflammatory meds they gave me for recovery. It is the only medicine I was taking so it was easy to determine the problem.
I had broken out in a rash around the entire trunk of my body. I feel like i am on fire!! I called Dr. Kardys and he took me off the medicine. If the rash worsened I am to go to the ER.
I made it through the first night. I wonder how long it takes to work from my body?
June 14 (Sunday)... Time to get real here folks because I don’t want people to think I am not struggling along the way. I have a positive out look about my care and know that God is with me. I have said this from the beginning.
However, up until two months ago I considered myself an independent person who could care of herself and those in my care. Now I am learning that I need others to help take care of me. I don’t always get to choose what I am able or suppose to do.
This is a hard pill to swallow. I want to be that independent person again but I also know this is not possible. The struggle is real. Add to this the pandemic in which the vulnerable are supposed to avoid contact. I am not vulnerable I say but then I realize that is exactly what I am.
So as I fight back the urge to do what I want to do. I give up a little of myself. I think about the power struggle within. I become irritable. I don’t like that side of myself. So I turn to the only thing that truly makes me whole. I go within to the deepest place of my soul and give in to the call of love that will help me through these difficult times.
God is good. He knows me and knows my struggle. He will help me through this obstacle too. It is well in my soul once again.
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