June 18 (Thursday)... I think God gives me little breaks as I follow this path and this morning was one I enjoyed. This might sound silly to those of you who are not moms, but my break came in the form of being a mom to my children (at least the ones awake before noon...haha!).
I woke up before everyone else (as usual) and puttered around straightening up the common catch all sites. Making piles for each child to take care of when they woke up. I thought about breakfast and decided on French toast. I even got to make a few pieces before my sweet momma took over the task. Then I worked on a geocaching project for one of the older boys.
It was a “productive” morning for me because I was doing something for my family without taking a lot of energy.
My plan was to call and make follow up visits with Dr. Drengler and my Dr.Brandon. I also wanted to talk to my finance guy. And I was going to look into getting a shorter hair style so my hair was out of my face while I worked through the next medical procedures.
I was having a good morning! Praise God for these moments of normalcy.
Then I got a surprise call from Dr. Drengler around 10am. I started out telling him that I was just picking up the phone to set up a follow up. But I realized right away that this was not going to be a quick telemed social call to review what we already knew. He was serious and basically told me to sit back and prepare for some changes to the plan.
He had seen the second CT scan from my Monday night visit to the ER. He had talked to my radiologist. He was very concerned about what he was seeing.
Dr. Drengler told me that what everyone thought was just a small lesion on my back bone was actually the liver cancer aggressively spreading to my bones. He could see that the back bone is actually being eaten away at just about the spot where I was feeling the pain. He asked if any of my other areas in the bone were hurting me. I told him that I was having more headaches and they seemed to be in the area around my left temple. He voiced concerns about the cancer spot on my right femur. He says if that area weakens i have greater risk of broken bones or falling (not good as this could lead to cancer spreading).
After we discussed the bone issue, he said the cancer has progressed faster than he has ever seen and we need to take action immediately.
Basically, I described my new plan to a friend like this:
"Today all appointments are blown to the wind and when the tornado settles down I will see where I land."
Dr. Drengler still wants me to have the radiation treatment next week to begin work on shrinking the liver tumors. However, he also knows that I need help fighting the metastatic cancer in the rest of my body. So he wants me to go through a three day full body chemo treatment. He would like the chemo to happen before the radiation mainly because chemo would have to wait at least five days after radiation. He is concerned that this allows the bone cancer too much time to eat away at my bones.
So these two doctors have to meet and work out the details. I have to now regroup and figure out how to tell my family we have just been on one of those kiddy rides. We are about to get on one the biggest roller coaster rides we have ever seen.
Funny story... I hate roller coaster rides! Even the little Shamu ride is too much for me. But I went to sea world with the family on one the boy’s birthdays in early March. I promised him that i would ride a roller coaster with him for his birthday. The last time I rode a roller coaster I was tricked into it. I was 19 years old (Remember that Ginger?). Let’s just say that I truly was gifting my son this opportunity to see his mother in fear and panic. He picked the tamest ride in the park outside of the kiddy zone. I wanted to cry like a baby but I held together and bravely got on and off without too much trauma. 🤣
So back to the cancer...I am in the holding area waiting for the new plan. I will update when I find out details.
I thought I would put off hair salon but my mom was already on the phone making that happen. If you want to see my new ‘do check out my new cover page. It is short and I love it. I know it will only be this way for a short time. I already asked the hairdresser to help me shave my head if it does not fall out to my liking. She is a sweetheart and says she is here for me when she is needed.
All the crew gathered for a nice homey dinner (thanks to a good friend). We had the joy of including Nancy as our guest for dinner. Then we called the other two adult children (only one available at the time) and I explained what was happening. All I can say is that we are one naive group. None of us have ever been truly sick. So when they compare the side effects to the flu, that does not sound that bad. The flu to us has been nonexistent. And usually we hear about it from other people after they are recovered so we do not know what the flu is like. Aches and pains...nope...we just work through that stuff.
So basically we are on the fast track for the treatments. And the learning curve is going to be rough. But the one thing I do know. They are ready to help me in any way they can. God will love them through this!! He is already squeezing me so tight in his hold that I have no where to look but up!
We ended the night like we always do as a family. For those who do not know, our family has an 8pm prayer time time scheduled every night. We started this when Michael was on deployments so we could pray “together” even from a distance.
So we had just sat down to pray when the phone rang. My oldest daughter called to find out why we were reaching out to talk to her. God is so good. She and I have not talked to each other for way too long. I let Michael explain the liver cancer. Then we talked about her visiting when all the travel issues could be resolved (she lives in WA state). Then we all just talked about silly things. But it was good.
Prayers were prayed. Children were off to bed. It was a long day. The good and the bad mixed together. And then i slept. And the world continues to turn. And God gives us a new day! Praise God in all of it! Let us see what comes as it comes.
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