The Chemo Treatments Begin

 June 19 (Friday)... I finally got the phone call from oncologist office today. 

Next Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday I will have the intravenous chemo treatment. This will be the full body chemo to help fight back against the metastatic cancer. This is not to fight the cancer in the bones. It is really to wipe out any cancer cells that might not have presented itself at this time.  Thursday I will have the radiation beads through the embolization procedure. This will be done to the right lobe of my liver in hopes to shrink the liver tumors. 

At this time the plan is to follow through with the left lobe of the liver a month later. Also, there will directed radiation treatments to the current bone lesions on my skull, back, and femur. I will also have another CT scan to ensure the cancer has not spread to other areas. 

A big thank you to to all who are praying. Many are asking how I feel at this time. I think the pain medicine is working well. It all makes me very tired and foggy brain. Hopefully the updates I send out make sense.  

Praying for a restful weekend so I can be ready for next week.

Change of Direction on this Roller Coaster

June 18 (Thursday)... I think God gives me little breaks as I follow this path and this morning was one I enjoyed. This might sound silly to those of you who are not moms, but my break came in the form of being a mom to my children (at least the ones awake before noon...haha!). 

I woke up before everyone else (as usual) and puttered around straightening up the common catch all sites. Making piles for each child to take care of when they woke up. I thought about breakfast and decided on French toast. I even got to make a few pieces before my sweet momma took over the task. Then I worked on a geocaching project for one of the older boys. 

It was a “productive” morning for me because I was doing something for my family without taking a lot of energy. 

My plan was to call and make follow up visits with Dr. Drengler and my Dr.Brandon. I also wanted to talk to my finance guy. And I was going to look into getting a shorter hair style so my hair was out of my face while I worked through the next medical procedures. 

I was having a good morning!  Praise God for these moments of normalcy.  

Then I got a surprise call from Dr. Drengler around 10am. I started out telling him that I was just picking up the phone to set up a follow up. But I realized right away that this was not going to be a quick telemed social call to review what we already knew. He was serious and basically told me to sit back and prepare for some changes to the plan. 

He had seen the second CT scan from my Monday night visit to the ER. He had talked to my radiologist. He was very concerned about what he was seeing. 

Dr. Drengler told me that what everyone thought was just a small lesion on my back bone was actually the liver cancer aggressively spreading to my bones. He could see that the back bone is actually being eaten away at just about the spot where I was feeling the pain. He asked if any of my other areas in the bone were hurting me. I told him that I was having more headaches and they seemed to be in the area around my left temple. He voiced concerns about the cancer spot on my right femur. He says if that area weakens i have greater risk of broken bones or falling (not good as this could lead to cancer spreading). 

After we discussed the bone issue, he said the cancer has progressed faster than he has ever seen and we need to take action immediately. 

Basically, I described my new plan to a friend like this:

        "Today all appointments are blown to the wind and when the tornado settles down I will see where             I land."

Dr. Drengler still wants me to have the radiation treatment next week to begin work on shrinking the liver tumors. However, he also knows that I need help fighting the metastatic cancer in the rest of my body.  So he wants me to go through a three day full body chemo treatment. He would like the chemo to happen before the radiation mainly because chemo would have to wait at least five days after radiation. He is concerned that this allows the bone cancer too much time to eat away at my bones. 

So these two doctors have to meet and work out the details. I have to now regroup and figure out how to tell my family we have just been on one of those kiddy rides. We are about to get on one the biggest roller coaster rides we have ever seen. 

Funny story... I hate roller coaster rides!  Even the little Shamu ride is too much for me. But I went to sea world with the family on one the boy’s birthdays in early March. I promised him that i would ride a roller coaster with him for his birthday. The last time I rode a roller coaster I was tricked into it. I was 19 years old (Remember that Ginger?). Let’s just say that I truly was gifting my son this opportunity to see his mother in fear and panic. He picked the tamest ride in the park outside of the kiddy zone. I wanted to cry like a baby but I held together and bravely got on and off without too much trauma. 🤣 

So back to the cancer...I am in the holding area waiting for the new plan. I will update when I find out details. 

I thought I would put off hair salon but my mom was already on the phone making that happen. If you want to see my new ‘do check out my new cover page. It is short and I love it. I know it will only be this way for a short time. I already asked the hairdresser to help me shave my head if it does not fall out to my liking. She is a sweetheart and says she is here for me when she is needed. 

All the crew gathered for a nice homey dinner (thanks to a good friend). We had the joy of including Nancy as our guest for dinner. Then we called the other two adult children (only one available at the time) and I explained what was happening. All I can say is that we are one naive group. None of us have ever been truly sick. So when they compare the side effects to the flu, that does not sound that bad. The flu to us has been nonexistent. And usually we hear about it from other people after they are recovered so we do not know what the flu is like. Aches and pains...nope...we just work through that stuff. 

So basically we are on the fast track for the treatments. And the learning curve is going to be rough. But the one thing I do know. They are ready to help me in any way they can. God will love them through this!!  He is already squeezing me so tight in his hold that I have no where to look but up!  

We ended the night like we always do as a family. For those who do not know, our family has an 8pm prayer time time scheduled every night. We started this when Michael was on deployments so we could pray “together” even from a distance. 

So we had just sat down to pray when the phone rang. My oldest daughter called to find out why we were reaching out to talk to her. God is so good. She and I have not talked to each other for way too long. I let Michael explain the liver cancer. Then we talked about her visiting when all the travel issues could be resolved (she lives in WA state). Then we all just talked about silly things. But it was good. 

Prayers were prayed. Children were off to bed. It was a long day. The good and the bad mixed together. And then i slept. And the world continues to turn. And God gives us a new day!  Praise God in all of it!  Let us see what comes as it comes.

A Practice Round with My Liver

June 17 (Wednesday)...A little disappointed with the hospital this morning. After running a marathon obstacle course with one arm tied behind my back. I got back on track and hoped to start my procedure but due to the mix up and confusion I was an hour behind schedule. 

The worst thing this morning was I was not on pain medicine because they would be giving me their on little cocktail of drugs for the procedure. This should have delivered to me around 0800 but I had to wait until 0930. 

The nurses were very concerned for me and the radiologist came in quickly and told the only option was to get started. He had read the CT scan from Monday night and the pain I am feeling is due to growth of the liver tumors pressing on my organs and nerves. Until the liver is treated with radiation, the main goal will be pain management. 

Then the procedure took place and it went so well. Omar was my hero today. He kept me comfortable at all times. I had a crew of guys who were cutting up and joking the entire procedure. I was under conscious sedation so I remember most of what was going on minus the pain. I could not see the imagery either. Bummer!   

All went well but I had a minor claustrophobic incident after the procedure. I found out I had to lay flat through a special imagining procedure to verify no radiation residual entered my lungs today. I was already aware of laying flat due to catheter but then she put me in a papoose and I could not even move my arms for over an hour with a scanner over my chest and abdomen just a couple of inches above me. The last twenty minutes she released my arms so I could place them over my head. Thankful that the pain meds had helped with the pain with the right shoulder. By the time the twenty minutes was up both arms were asleep. Tums out I will have to do this every time I have radiation. Yuck!  But I got through it and now I know to prepare for this mentally each time. 

Then recovery room for three more hours. I had to drink, eat, go to the bathroom and walk a few laps of a short hallway. All was good. So I spoke to radiologist about my return visit next week. And away I went back to my sun room view!  Yay!  

All in all. It was a good day. Prayer and worship music helped me through when I could have it. God is good!

Another Trip to the Emergency Room

June 15 (Monday)... I was having a good day. The rash that had been so irritating was finally receding. The incisions are healing. I had a visit with my oncologist to confirm understanding of all the procedures coming up. I had lunch with my Mom before taking an afternoon nap (needed most days).  Then I was surprised by a shooting pain in my side under my rib cage around 5pm. It was like a painful air bubble about the size of a baseball. And all the “remedies” only intensified the pain. 

We debated if I should go to ER. But after five hours with no relief, I felt like I did not have a choice. Michael drove me and we arrived to a full waiting room. 

The decision was to have a CT scan to ensure there were no complications from the surgery. By 3am, results were in and nothing unusual in the scan. Their solution was morphine or be admitted for pain control. I told them I would rather go home and try the Tylenol 4 already prescribed. 

Maybe some are asking why I did not take pain medicine to start. I guess it was because it came on so suddenly and I wanted to make sure I did not have anything wrong. Regardless of the why, the pain is now under control and I am resting in preparation for tomorrow’s procedure. 

One thing the doctor did state was that the comparison of the scan and previous one, the liver tumors have grown. Also the first scan did not show lesions on my bones but this one did. So this tells us once again that this is a more aggressive liver cancer. 

Prayers for the procedure to go well are appreciated. God bless you all.

Something is Not Right! But God will Make it Right!

June 13 (Saturday)...last night I told my mom I was going stir crazy. Cabin fever had set in and I was so anxious I felt like my skin was crawling. 

Turns out that was not the problem. I had a reaction to the anti-inflammatory meds they gave me for recovery. It is the only medicine I was taking so it was easy to determine the problem. 

I had broken out in a rash around the entire trunk of my body. I feel like i am on fire!!  I called Dr. Kardys and he took me off the medicine. If the rash worsened I am to go to the ER. 

I made it through the first night. I wonder how long it takes to work from my body?

June 14 (Sunday)... Time to get real here folks because I don’t want people to think I am not struggling along the way. I have a positive out look about my care and know that God is with me. I have said this from the beginning. 

However, up until two months ago I considered myself an independent person who could care of herself and those in my care. Now I am learning that I need others to help take care of me. I don’t always get to choose what I am able or suppose to do. 

This is a hard pill to swallow. I want to be that independent person again but I also know this is not possible. The struggle is real. Add to this the pandemic in which the vulnerable are supposed to avoid contact. I am not vulnerable I say but then I realize that is exactly what I am. 

So as I fight back the urge to do what I want to do. I give up a little of myself. I think about the power struggle within. I become irritable. I don’t like that side of myself. So I turn to the only thing that truly makes me whole. I go within to the deepest place of my soul and give in to the call of love that will help me through these difficult times. 

God is good. He knows me and knows my struggle. He will help me through this obstacle too. It is well in my soul once again.

Now for the Liver!!!

June 11 (Thursday)... I was feeling great and glad i waited to see radiologist. My mother was able to go to doctor appointment with me. He was very personable and easy to talk to about my situation. He had the results from the colon biopsy and said it was benign. Good news!  

So he showed the scans from MRI and PET scan so I could see the cancer and size. Amazing what technology provides us!  He decided we were going to try the least aggressive treatment. This known as a dry embolization in which the beads blocking the artery flow into tumors does not have chemo or radiation. 

The procedure would take place the following Wednesday.  No prep just be ready on the day of surgery. I was ready to go!  

A simple consult and drive to and from the clinic wore me out but we had a plan.

June 12 (Friday)...late in the evening, I got a call my radiologist. He wasted no time. He wanted me to know that he had consulted with Dr. Drengler and they changed the plan. The radiologist will now meet with me next Wednesday to have a dry run to internally measure the tumors and see how my body would react to radiation. Then two weeks later I will have the embolization procedure with radiation beads. The plan is to heal from that and then proceed to the second lobe a month later. 

I asked why the change in plans and he told me Dr. Drengler feels that with all the information available I have the rarest form of liver cancer that is fast growing and needs full aggressive treatment to shrink the tumors. 

Wow!  I guess I am once again going full throttle into this phase!

Going Home? Yes!!!

June 8 (Monday)... I woke up early as usual. 4am was my norm and the nurses were glad to talk in the early hours before the other patients were awake. I was given permission to walk around the hallways on my own. I got back to the room just in time for my surgeon to make an early visit. He again assured me the surgery went well and my recovery was going well. I would be going home as soon as arrangements could be made. Yay!  

He told me I could progress to soft food and while at home eat as I feel comfortable. Yay!  So I asked the nurse if she thought i would be given a full breakfast and she thought I would. Finally a meal and the breakfast on the menu looked like it would be in the soft side so all was good. Then the tray came and i was sad to see just a lump of scrambled eggs, a banana and cheerios. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I was going home. 

And that is exactly what happened. By 11am I was in my get away car thanks to my friend Brenda Mark. Michael was able to work and I was able to surprise the children with an early homecoming!  

I was given a few surprises too!  Michael had set up my sun room with a new chair. I would have a comfortable quiet spot to continue my recovery at home. He also was almost finished with a small home improvement. He said he would have had it done if I had stayed in hospital longer. I told him I didn’t mind seeing it half finished. Better for me to be home.

 I forgot to mention that I got a phone call an hour after I was settled at home. The radiologist wanted me to meet him the next day for a consultation. I was so overwhelmed with the thought of going anywhere that I told his nurse it would have to be later in the week. So an appointment was made for Thursday. 

Things are happening fast now. I am still just taking this one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. I remind myself that the doctors are the experts and see cancer every day. I am learning each day how this is all going to work for my life. Although I am glad they keep my path moving forward I can slow down if needed.