The Scans Continue Along with Treatments

It has been a little bit of wait again this week as I have to have insurance approval.  However, I am still able to do a few things while I wait.  I met with my radiologist (Dr. Zubyyk) yesterday and she has recommended 10 sessions of radiation to my lower back (L1& L2) which will also include radiation to my spinal fluid.  When I asked her if she saw anything that would cause my chest to hurt, she told me nothing that she could see.  So, we will need to possibly have more scans done.

I also got a call from Dr. Drengler’s nurse. The doctor has asked for me to have more scans done to ensure we know all the places the cancer has spread. So its back to the scan room for me. Tomorrow I will have to have an MRI of my brain. I think it is because Dr. Drengler is concerned about the cancer spreading to the brain since cancer has been found in the spinal fluid. I think this also is the scan Dr. Zubyk was referring to at my appointment yesterday.

I now have the appointments for my chemo treatments for next week. So Monday-Wednesday I will be spending my days in prayer. 

On Monday, I also have a meeting with the neurologist (Dr. Jordan) to determine the cause of my neck pain. Dr. Drengler has suggested I have radiation/chemo induced arthritis, but he wants to be sure that this is correct. So I have been asked to have an x-ray of my neck. Maybe I can discuss my chest pain with him also. 

So, all of this comes with more questions and less answers.  However, I continue to have hope and trust that God is with me. Today I was at Mass and I heard these words,

“Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy.” Hebrews 10:23

God is good. He knows the outcome. I will find out the answers soon enough. 

A Long Week of Wait...and Then...

 Sorry for those who were waiting for a quick update...to say the least I was waiting right along with you.  And to add to that I found that the time in the tube on Tuesday, exasperated my pain in my neck that led to more pain down my left arm and left leg.  So, I spent most of last week resting and staying close to home.  When I did not heard from the oncologist by Friday morning, I gave them a call.  It turned out that I would not find out the results until Monday morning.  

So, I spent most of my week trying to keep myself busy in mind and did a lot of reflection.  I even recorded a few videos that I posted on my YouTube channel (I still cannot believe my Tornado Teen talked me into doing this.)  I also had the joy of celebrating my Sweet Guy's birthday.  He was so happy to enjoy breakfast in bed, a round of bowling & arcade with pizza lunch, then back home for his favorite dinner and a surprise LEGO cake.  A great way to pass the time while we waited for results.  

By Sunday, the weather became quite gloomy, so I said we would just have a do nothing afternoon.  By the time we were done de-cluttering the house and other putterings around the house, Michael said he wished we would not have so many "do nothing" days.  Haha!

Needless you can see that I just cannot sit still for long, even when I am in pain.  I just push through and rest only when I have to stop.  If I stay busy, I don't think about the pain so much.  I know it is there and stopped (or was stopped) when it was too much.  Really most of what I was doing had me sitting in a chair and was more about using my intellect and management skills.  I am sure my family gets tired of all my ways to keep us busy!  

This morning I woke up actually feeling much better...still painful but nothing like the last two weeks.  I could turn my head to the left and no problem with range of motion for my arm or leg.  How is that possible?  I really do not know because I went to bed with pain.  I must admit that the pain I had in my chest was very much still there so I still had concern for what Dr. Drengler would tell me.  

Since this meeting was meant to be a virtual visit, I was planning to set up in my mom's side of the house.  It easier to let the children have their space and my mom takes notes.  It has always worked well for us.  So, when I knocked on her door this morning, I was surprised to hear her already on the phone with a doctor.  It turns out that her results from her blood panel was ready for review.  It was a nice surprise to find out her cholesterol levels that had been such a concern just two months ago were now well below the level of concern.  I must brag a little on our essential oil regime that was started in September (when she first started having issues).  After just four months, her cholesterol went for 196 to 131.  She also had her LDL levels go from 127 down to 56!  That is so amazing!!  Even her doctor told her to keep up with whatever was working for her!  He had never seen such improvement is such a short time.  

She finished her appointment quickly and we waited for mine.  As we waited, I told my mom that I hoped my appointment would go so well.  Maybe all the pain I was having was just a pinched nerve or maybe I had walking pneumonia.  

I have learned that these days I should not try to guess what my body is doing at a cellular level.  It never seems to be what I am expecting.  And when Dr. Drengler starts out the appointment with "We have a lot to discuss." I suppose I should throw out any naive thoughts I have of understanding the whims of cancer!

So after all the scans of last week, this is what we have found out:

My cancer has decided to spread to new horizons...I now have cancer in the spinal fluid between two of the vertebrae (lombar 1 and 2) and a small amount of cancer on the lower bone (L1).  This was a little bit of a surprise and he told me that this is not the normal route for my type of cancer.  I am not even sure what that means anymore, since my cancer has not been "normal" from the start.  Haha!  He is sending me back to the radiologist (Dr. Zubyk) once again.  In fact, I already have an appointment to meet with her on Wednesday.  He also called back later in the afternoon and has decided that he wants a comparison MRI of my brain to ensure the cancer has not spread into my brain again.  

Along with this spread, it was also discovered that the cancer has spread into my lymph nodes.  I have cancer appearing in my lymph nodes in my chest and abdominal areas.  I asked if this is why I am having pain around my sternum, and he told me that this was not related.  I am not sure but when I looked at the lymph nodes in the chest and abdominal areas, it only showed the THYMUS, which appears to be exactly in the area where I am hurting!  And today when I showed my mom where I hurt, it feels like a bulge in that area and is painful to the touch like a bruise.   I just do not like the answer I got about this pain.  And I am having no pain in my abdominal area!  The final spread discussed was a small nodule in my right lung (upper right lobe).  Again, I am having no trouble breathing or pain in my lungs.  

I am so glad we are finding these spots when they are small.  However, we also have to have treatment.  So, I am not able to remain on the maintenance chemo treatment.  This is perfectly fine with me because it did not seem to agreeing with me any way.  I am back to the IV chemo treatments.  I will start this as soon as possible but I am not on the schedule yet.  I will do this for the next 12 weeks (3 day cycle on three week cycles).  At that time, I will have new scans done and we see if we can get back on track.  If the cancer has continued to spread, then we will need to move to treatments with in clinical trials.  Which means, we have not been able to find a way to get the cancer under control.  

The pain I have in my neck and most likely the pain on my arm and leg are one of two things.  I have a pinched nerve that occurred after the radiation I had to the neck in the first week of December.  The other possibility is that I have a chemo/radiation induced arthritis.  I will be meeting with my neurosurgeon to try to find answers to this issue in the next week.  At this time, I can continue to take pain medication for relief.  

SO...this is a lot of information.  I will be honest, it does not sound good.  BUT...I am not letting it bringing me down.  In fact, I have more energy today then I have in the last couple of weeks.  The pain has either reduced or my body has found a way to function around it.  The way I look at it is your body gets used to a certain level of pain and when the pain gets worse your body learns to adjust and adapt.  I have been given pain medicine and will take it as needed.  I will have good days and bad days.  On the good days, watch out world!  Here I come!  When the days are not so good, I pull back and rest.  

Through it all...God is good and holds me close...I am open to his plans!  

God's blessing to all!   

A Long Day Planned

 I finally got my appointments scheduled for my scans. As the nurse told me, “Mrs. Reynolds, you have a lot of scans ordered!”  

Yay!  I get to be stuck in a tube for almost 4?hours tomorrow! Guess what that means?  I have a lot of time to pray!  So if you have any one who needs prayers, let me know because I will be praying from about 11am-3pm. 

At this time I know that I am going to have a full body CT scan, full body nuclear bone scan, and an MRI of my entire spinal cord. 

Also, please pray for me as I am still in a lot of pain, especially my neck and sternum area. At this time pain medication is not helping. I continue to look for other methods to relieve the pain but most of what I try only helps for a short period of time. 

If all goes well with scans tomorrow, I should have results by the end of the week. Then a new game plan will follow. 

I continue to pray for peace and understanding in God’s plan. God is good!  

Making Choices

 I made the choice to move back to my blog. I was just spending too much time on Facebook and needed to get away from all the negativity. Less stress is always a good idea. 

I made other choices this week to help reduce stress and hopefully make life easier. I still have many other changes to make in the near future. 

Really life is about making choices and seeing what the consequences will be on our lives. 

This week Dr. Drengler made the choice to postpone my chemo treatments. I was surprised but glad he listened to my concerns. But that means more choices had to be made. I have being scheduled for new bone scans. 

The pain has increased today. I tried to stick with low level pain reliever. However, I finally had to bump it up a notch. A choice I really did not want to make but I promised I would not let the pain get out of control like I had done last summer. 

I must admit that I am afraid the cancer has spread again. I pray that I am mistaken. I would really like to be wrong in this one. 

We recently heard a comedian talk about his wife having a brain tumor. He is pretty funny and he jokingly says that he will never be able to win an argument with her again because it is not like he can compare her tumor to his seasonal allergies. Considering our house full of allergy ridden crew, we just had to laugh. 

So, I would love to rack this pain up to seasonal allergies. I would love to go in next week and he say I sneezed too hard during one of my sneezing fits. One never knows. I seem to have another twist on this ride.

I am faithful. But I also trust that God's plan is best. So I must also be realistic. So I went back to the prayer given to us in last night in our devotional  

21

Store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart by be. (Mt 6:20-21)

Where we invest going trust and our hope, we invest our lives. Let us choose to invest in the true source of life, Jesus Christ!

The Big Transfer Back to My Blog

I started an update page to make it easier to share updates with my family and friends about my ongoing cancer treatments back in June of 2020.  But now feel like it will be easier to keep it active on my old family blog.  SO...I am hoping I can move everything over today.  I have a lot of work to make this possible.  I am really hoping by doing this I can have the posts dated properly.  We will see.

I know that this might be more difficult for some of my family and friends, but if you are interested in following my journey it is as simple as following my blog.   

Planning for My Good Days

 January 14 (Thursday)...

I might seem a little manic for anyone who has been reading my updates here and my regular posts on Facebook. I talk about all my aches & pains and side effects, which are very real and intense. However, anyone who knows me, you know I cannot sit still for long. When I am done with side effects, I am already thinking about what I can do when I am feeling better. 

So, last week I was feeling bad from the chemo regimen, but I was already planning what I would do when I was better. This time it meant going on a little road trip. I had promised our Tiger that I would help him complete his 254 challenge (1 cache in all 254 counties of Texas). We actually planned this trip for the fall but it just was not possible. Then we planned to make it happen before the end of 2020 and still did not happen. So I was determined to not delay again. 

The problem was that, although my typical side effects subsided quickly after the chemo was completed, I was having a new issue. My pain in my neck was becoming more severe. I now also add to the pain at my sternum area. I spoke with Dr. Drengler about this issue earlier last week and he said we would watch it close. To me that meant he wanted to wait until the scheduled body scans we planned for February. So instead of calling him again at the end of the week, I decided to take the road trip. 

Imagine my surprise when my friend, Nancy, called Saturday and asked if I had seen the weather forecast. I knew it was going to be cold. I did not know it was supposed to snow. However, I must be just sick enough to move forward with our plans. Of course, the crew was overjoyed at the thought of playing in snow. 

So Sunday, we were off in a hurry. And we arrived in Abilene just as the snow was starting to slow down. If you have not been to downtown Abilene, then you are missing out on a storybook wonderland!  Add snow to the mix, and even this snow hater was having an amazing time in the fresh blanket if snow layered on our favorite characters...from nursery rhyme to Dr. Seuss to modern day tales...we had so much fun!!!

As long as I did not strain myself or lift anything or make any tight turns with the vehicle, I was able to “pretend” there was nothing wrong. And I tried very hard to not make a big deal a out my pain with the children. Let them enjoy their winter wonderland!!!

The next day we zoomed around North Texas to find a cache in the remaining 11 counties for Tiger. We finished just as the sun was setting in Wichita Falls before heading south to a hotel closer to home. This second day of the road trip was so easy!  Most places had already had the snow melted. We had a beautiful day to enjoy the outdoor excursion. Yes, I still hurt but as ling as I did not stop to think about it, we were good!

We made it home mid afternoon on Tuesday exhausted but feeling proud of accomplishing the goal we set out to complete. 

I suppose I could have called Dr. Drengler yesterday but I already had a scheduled visit with him today. With my pre-screening questions, I told the nurse about the increase of pain. So when Dr. Drengler came in, he wasted no time. My planned round of chemo is postponed and new bone scans will happen as soon as possible. He was very concerned and wants no delay. 

So this is where I am on the roller coaster ride. I pray that this just a minor set back. God is good. So ride along my crazy ride of ups and downs!  Enjoy life!  Stress and worry are not a choice!  I fully trust in God’s plan!

COMMENTS

Vicky Plowden Craig

Praying that the Lord will give you healing, and so glad you could enjoy this adventure with your wonderful children. Love, love, love to you.

Angie Fischer Artho

So glad you got to enjoy the snow! (well at least your kids did!) Continued prayers for healing and comfort for you.

Rita Fernandes

So glad you were able to take the trip with your family. Continued prayers for your healing.Kimberly, Janine and two other friends are praying the St. Perigrine novena for your healing

Rita Chapa Maspero

Continued prayers.

Lucy Spade

Praying

Rita Calderon

Uniting my prayers with yours

My Diary Lays Open For All to Read

I am awake and praying for all those in need who have asked for prayers.  But also thinking...so many thoughts in my head that I feel like I am back to playing that game of Pong!

 

I kept coming back to this idea that I needed to explain something about this blog. 

I think that this little page that was meant to update my family and friends has become much more to me than that original intent. It is more like a diary of my life at this time. Sharing my inner most thoughts as i try to grapple with all that is happening to me. And in doing so I might appear needy or lacking in some ways that might have those who read these posts to think you need to encourage me. Which is appreciated...don’t get me wrong...but not always necessary. 

I am actually humbled that so many of you even read my crazy thoughts. And even more humbled that others might gain in some way from these musings. 

I guess what I was thinking is that many times...in the trenches of this battle against the spread of cancer throughout my body... I might write some things that sound awful and uncomfortable. But I think of it this way...just as no one wants to sit around hearing how many times I wiped my nose today or how many games of Sudoku one person can play... I would not write about such things in a diary. A diary seems to me more about reflection and inner thoughts that are private and reflective. 

Yet, I have been compelled to open my diary and leave it on the table for anyone who enters to read.  I suppose in doing this I am asking for help through prayer and encouragement, but it is also there for me to go back to and see how this crazy ride has swayed to and fro. Just as any reflection, one can go back and see how much has changed for better or for worse. 

It made me think about King Xerxes and his attempt to remember his past experiences ...

“That night the king, unable to sleep, asked that the chronicle of notable events be brought in.” Ester 6:1

Just as the king reflected back on his life musings, I am able to do this and remember how God has been there through the joys and struggles. And I even see your reaction and I gain the strength to push on and fight the battle another day.   

So, although I may show struggles through these posts, it is not to expect a response from all those who read but to show the path I am taking. And how to get myself back on the track because as crazy as this roller coaster ride may be...even I know it is safer on the track (God’s track) than off of it. 

Thanks for all your words of encouragement and prayers. God is good to surround me with so much love and support. You remain his hands and feet to show me that I am loved and cared for in this experience. I am blessed.

It seems fitting to end this post with this daily prayer that started my early morning:

"Lord Jesus, your ways are life and light! Let your word penetrate my heart and transform my mind that I may see your power and glory. Help me to choose your ways and to do what is pleasing to you." Amen.

COMMENTS

Holly Gonzales

Received now your beautiful card, letter and photo during this time of Advent. Thank you. Thank you for your transparency. With the illumination of the Holy Spirit, we are free to express who we are and how we are. You are light to us, Michelle!

Rita Chapa Maspero

Michelle, please set your mind at ease. IMO, you do not come across as a whiner, complainer or make me uncomfortable. What I find in the blog is your remarkable faith and trust in God. I find you to be a great evangelist as you share your thoughts about the daily readings or feast being celebrated by the church. I guess you could say I get a lot out of your blog along with your status updates. You are a great servant of our Lord. God bless you!

Brenda Mark

I join you in this prayer. 

Rose Bixby

Amen! You are amazing!! And Loved!!

Heidi Callison Smith

Write on

Heidi Frazier

I love reading your posts. Keep them coming. Thank you for letting me into your world

Myra Morgan

Your posts are a blessing.

Geneva NeNe

I read your post everyday.Thank you for sharing.

The Power of Love

January 3 (Sunday)...

Yesterday evening progressively got worse and I was quite weak from the stress of the situation which seemed to cause a snowball effect. I grew tired and terrible headache. Then felt like a weight was pressing me down. It led to vomiting and the spiraling down hill feeling continued until i finally fell asleep. What a night!!  

I woke up early this morning and left the house before anyone was awake.  I thought it was best to just make it to the clinic in hopes for some relief. I arrived thirty minutes early and turned the radio on to pass the time. It turned out to be the morning with EWTN (Catholic radio). 

Somehow I felt a peace over me and the thought came to me that maybe I was meant to be here on this morning to being God into someone’s day. Well, as I told a friend later, if that was supposed to happen I blew it. The only person who talked with me was the nurse and she just kept telling me about the dramatic stories of other patients who had their pump detach. I shut out what she was saying so I could focus on positive thoughts. 

I was left alone for quite some time and the song “The Power of Love” and I realized that today that was what I needed....to know that God loved me and his power to hold me tight when I was the most distressed was more than I needed to be strong through this chaos. 

When I was finally released, I rushed out to make it to church in time. I made it just as the Bible readings began. Thank you, Jesus!  

No severe nausea today and I am now settling into our time together for prayer.  Just one more day of this round. Praying there is no more drama. 

God bless you!!!

Rita Sanchez

Hang in there.  You can do this; God's got ya!!!  Ph 4:13 

Irene White

You are so strong to keep going despite the pain and nausea. Praying every day for you.

Linda Austin

Prayers along with you! You are so positive and your determination to accept HIS will guides your path. Love

Enjoying Christmas and Making it Meaningful...But...

January 2 (Saturday)...

I haven’t had an update since I started taking the medication this round. I am sure some of you must think that I’m not doing very well. But actually this round has been very easy for me. I am now on a pump around the clock for five days. I think this method of giving me the medicine is helpful for my body to function without the severe side effects. I am still taking one of my medications by mouth but I am able to do this as long as I take my nausea medicine.

My side effects have been minimal with achy joints and nausea. However I think I am also feeling abnormally agitated and tired. If I were living alone it probably would be very easy to continue this plan for my medication. However, I think with my family putting up with my mood swings is very frustrating for all of us. I am just so thankful that we love each other during these interesting experiences. 

I must admit that it is very frustrating for me because I know that sometimes my mood swings can be hurtful to the ones who are helping me the most. I must say that sometimes it is only in hindsight that I even realize what I have said or done. I think this makes me even more frustrated with myself and then I try harder to do things to help out which then of course causes more frustration for me when I cannot. It really is a vicious cycle of give-and-take and hoping that I can control the uncontrollable.

So although physically I am working out the kinks of this medication, I still feel like we are struggling to fine-tune the ins and outs of family life. We will get there with God’s graces as we enter in to a new year of opportunities to grow as a family and as individuals. 

We have been enjoying the 12 days of Christmas. We always enjoy going to places together as a family and this year we have managed to attend several places that normally would be crowded. Somehow we have managed to go on off days and felt safe from the pandemic and staying healthy in general. Imagine going to places like Sea World, the movie theater and Six Flags without the crowds. It has been nice.  

Then I realize that I spoke too soon. I was getting ready for a fun evening at the Botanical Gardens because they were having a special event. I went to change into warm clothes but before I even got started I noticed something was wrong with the tubing on my pump. 

Once again, I get to be part of the rare group of patients who have a bio-hazard leakage from my port access!  Yay me!!!

I am not sure what happened but the port tubing somehow detached from the pump tubing. I was bleeding from my port access and chemo meds (thankfully on a slow drip) were dripping onto the tile floor (also thankful as it was easier to clean up). 

I started yelling emergency!  The whole house was scrambling to get to me. Did I mention I was changing clothes?  Awkward!!!  

Add to this I was having a little panic attack. I think my mom had to slap some sense into me (just joking!). I took a few deep breaths and calmed down enough to call the weekend on call group. It took almost two hours to get in touch with a doctor. By that time we figured out how to clamp off both tubes and clean up the bio-hazard mess. 

Not exactly how I should get a break from my medication. I will have to go in tomorrow morning to be reconnected to the pump. 

Needless to say, I did not go to the special event at the Gardens. I sent Michael and the crew to enjoy the experience. It was nice but not worth risking infection for me. Another twist in the coaster ride.   

It reminded me of the prayer from this morning’s devotional:

“Faith be strong and doubt depart,

Fear and unbelief be gone;

Peace possess the anxious heart

Where the light of Christ has shone.”

If only I had remembered it when I was in the midst of the chaos. I remember it now and that is what I hold dear as I rest through the night. 

God’s blessings to all!

COMMENTS

Heidi Frazier

Acceptance may be the hardest pill for all of us to swallow.

Brenda Puntch

Continuing to pray for you. I’ve been worrying about you and trying to have faith for your healing. LOL!I’m just human and make mistakes. I want to say I love you! Praying for God’s blessings on you and yours this new year.

Connie Edmundson

Always in my prayers