I was looking at my hair...and thought you would like to see. It is coming in a little darker than expected. I had to find something to laugh about...with all this cold weather I was bundled up tight and having fun with our Little Miss.
October 27 (Tuesday)...
I went into hiding for a few days...at least that is what I have been told by family and friends. However, I really have not had a lot happening. And this is my third week following chemo, which always seems to be a week when I feel tired. Normally, I would be gearing up for my next round of treatments but I don’t have chemo next week. Nothing to get excited about in that regard because we are in the process of reevaluating the plan for treatment. That means more scans next week and then a review on November 9th with Dr. Drengler.
Michael and the crew had a great time camping and geocaching around the area. I will add a few pictures from their adventures. I left little notes for them to find throughout the weekend. I even had a friend hide a few extra ones along trails. A big thank you to all the Texas Geo-campers who helped make their weekend a fun one.
My mom and I enjoyed a quiet and restful weekend at home. Our new friends, Rita and John, were so kind to bring us a meal on Saturday. They also offered to take us to church but we had no problem driving there ourselves.
I had a follow up appointment with my gastrointestinal specialist. When I was trying to check in for my appointment, I had my phone ringing. There are signs all over the waiting room saying absolutely no phone calls. I looked at the receptionist and threw up my hands and said, “I have to answer this one because I have cancer!” Even as I said this I had to laugh. Like that gives me special allowances or something. What I really meant was I thought it was one of my doctors that I had tried to contact all last week. The receptionist just smiled and told me to go ahead. It turned out to be just who I thought and now I have my follow up arranged with my neurosurgeon. I am hoping that means I will be released to drive again but that will not happen until the end of next week.
Then I got back to the exam room. And overheard through the door that the doctor was not sure why he was meeting with me. So when he came into the room I asked him if we could figure out why I was there together. We both found it funny to meet when I was doing so well regarding my colon. I told him that I was thankful for his care when everything was just getting started back in May. He told me to come back in a year and that sounded good to me.
Then I made my way to my final round of radiation treatments. When it was over, the techs asked if I wanted to keep my mask again. I told them no way because I did not want to use it again. They asked what the plan was for my future treatment. I told them I continued to be naively optimistic as always. I thanked them and went on my way.
So that is my excitement for the last few days. Nothing really to sneeze about for me.
I think with so much time between appointments with Dr. Drengler it may seem like more should be done to help me. However, I have always felt like treatment has come quickly. Tonight the reflection for our family prayer was very helpful in explaining that following in faith allows me to feel at peace.
It began with the opening song:
This hymn can be sung to the tune used for
For the Beauty of the Earth
When the way is hard to find,
Seeking first the Father’s will,
Lord, your promise call to mind,
All your purposes fulfill:
When the way is hard to find
Lead your pilgrim people still.
Faith be strong and doubt depart,
Fear and unbelief be gone;
Peace possess the anxious heart
Where the light of Christ has shone:
Faith be strong and doubt depart,
Lead your pilgrim people on.
The reflection then continued with understanding how we can trust in God to take care of us.
Ending with the simple phrase:
Show us the way to life!
It reminded me about the Psalm my friend, Shannon, shared with me over the weekend. I think it should be placed on my mirror so I see it each morning.
“Send me your light and faithful care,
let them lead me.” Psalm 43:3
God wants to give us faithful care. We just need to be open to this need and his willingness to give.
And so I continue with testing and doctor appointments...and treatments and rest...and even being tired and the yucky upset stomach and other side effects. But I remain at peace.
Thanks for all the concerns and prayers. It looks like a quiet week so I will probably not touch base here until Monday. But one never knows. God’s blessings to all.
COMMENTS
Marylee O'Connor Krutz
You are amazing! You bring a joy to my heart with your knowledge of our faith. It is a blessing at this crazy covid time when it is nearly impossible to go Mass. Thanks MichelleReynolds..xoxo
October 22 (Thursday)...
I cannot help but laugh. My mom and I were driving home from my radiation appointment. I was telling her how the week was actually working out well for us. I was glad to only have two more treatments of radiation. She was thinking about how we should have a light meal so she could rest for the evening before her procedure. All was going to be great because Michael was going to be able to take the crew early in the morning for their camping trip.
Remember how I wrote a couple of weeks ago about we should not rely on our plans?
Well, once again our plans have changed. Just like that...one phone call!
My mom was called and told her procedure was delayed due to an emergency surgery for another patient.
My mom and I just had to laugh! We know there is a reason for everything but we thought we had it all figured out again. We were wrong again! Haha
Then we both said the same thing...mom must not be too bad if another patient needs the surgery more than she does! So she is prepared to wait another two weeks for the surgery. It is a good thing we are flexible. The nurse who called to reschedule thanked my mom for not being upset because she has had other patients become very angry. My mom said getting upset would not be good for her heart, so she is going to patiently wait the two weeks.
There is a reason for everything!
So Michael will enjoy this weekend with the crew out camping. My mom and I will enjoy a quiet weekend at home.
God is good all the time! Praise be to God!!
COMMENTS
Susan Loffer
Sometimes the God of Peace gives us an extra dose. Have a sweet weekend and get some rest.
Irene White
That’s awesome! A quiet weekend with your mom is great, too!
Wow!! You know I wonder sometimes why I am so amazed by God’s goodness. I should know by this point in my life that God knows his child well....probably better than she knows herself. As my godmother likes to remind me...Pappa takes care of his children!!
So, today was just another blah kind of day and the crew seemed out of sorts most of the day. The only real plan for the day was school and my radiation. All went well in the morning and school was done by lunch time in spite of this negative mood that seemed to linger from the previous night.
I went to radiation and one of the techs from my previous group was there and I asked her to say hello to the other tech. The new tech asked if I needed a sedative to calm me during the treatment. She told me that I was obviously claustrophobic and medicine would help. I told her I would rather pray my way through the treatments. I truly believe that my way was better as I could use my suffering for others. It turned out that the treatment only lasted a short 20 minutes.
And then it was home and dinner and the rush of the evening tasks.
So, what was so amazing about this day?
I cannot help but wonder if God was waiting for me all day...waiting to give me this special gift. Think about a time when you had something special to surprise a loved one. You wonder if they will understand the significance of the gift. Will they like it? Will they ignore it? With that image in my mind, I can see God waiting for me to open his gift of grace.
The gift came during family prayers. We prayed from our evening devotional. And I was already thinking about how the night would end. Would we have another night struggling to get everyone to sleep?
If you read my post from yesterday, then you might recall that I used imagery of a storm at sea. Well, our family devotional is typically on a liturgical cycle. But tonight was different...I truly cannot see why the readings and prayers were chosen for this day. So that is why I see this as a gift for our family. It was as if God hand picked the following passage for us. Handpicked for us to remember that he is here to help us through our stormy waters.
First an opening prayer:
“When Peter saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” (cf. Mt 14:30)
Even today, human beings have no control over storms at sea, and sometimes very little control over storms in the heart. Only God has the power to still the tempest without and tempests within.”
Then Psalm 107: 23-32:
“He stilled the storm to a whisper:
all the waves of the sea were hushed.
They rejoiced because of the calm
and he led them to the haven they desired.”
Then a reading from the Gospel of Mark:
“...[The disciples] woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ceased and there was great calm. ...“ Mark 4:37-41
And so ended our family prayer. And I was then able to feel at peace once again.
And the children are now in bed without fuss. And I could write this reflection. And even have time left over to work on that children’s story I have in my head.
But, most importantly... I am reminded that God loves me and gave me a gift of peace after another blah day dealing with cancer and family life.
Praise be to God!!!
COMMENTS
Darlene Belanger
Many people would not understand my saying to a family struggling with cancer, you are blessed. As are we who know and love you.
Susan Loffer
We love a good, good God....and He loves us and loves to remind us. I’m glad you had a peaceful evening.
So...the other day I posted about the end of times and how we do not know the day or the hour. I talked about how we would better serve our time on earth by sharing the love of Christ to others. I think some of my family and friends thought I was focused on my end of time on this earth.
Not so!!!!
Any way...I realized that maybe I should explain a little about the way the Church rotates around a liturgical year on a three-year cycle (for Sunday worship) as well as a one-year cycle (for daily worship or reflection). The Church cycle of the readings is a lot like the circle of life. The start of the liturgical year begins on the first Sunday of Advent (4 weeks before Christmas). The beginning of the year focuses on the hope of the Savior, and leads up to the birth of Jesus (our Savior). The year continues with the ups and downs of life through the readings of both the Chosen People of Israel and the early Church under the New Covenant. The year ends (around this time of year) with readings related to the second coming of Christ and the end times. In these readings of the end of the cycle there is also reflection on our purpose in life and how we need to prepare for our end of life.
ALL OF THAT...to say...it makes sense that my thoughts, as I reflect on the readings of daily worship, should relate to my reflection on my purpose of life. The Church set up this continuous cycle for us EVERY YEAR!!!! I actually go through this reflective cycle EVERY YEAR!!! I just don't always post it to the world to read my thoughts!
I hope my musings do not cause everyone to think I am ready to give up on life. In reality, it is just the opposite...I think God has a little more for me to do in this world. My mission of living my faith and sharing God's love is still very much a part of my life.
So, I continue to share and if others gain from the experience...then I am thankful to be a small part of God's plan to share with others. And if no one reads my posts...I am OK with that also.
And a little bonus from someone else...maybe they explain it better than I do...Dr. Gray Daily
October 19 (Monday)...
Today happened. Isn’t it funny how that is possible without us thinking about it?
We are all so blessed to be able to have a day full of happenings...good and bad...and never even doing a thing to make it possible.
Our Creator took care of that for us. Be thankful!!
And this is where my thoughts travel at the end of the day.
We made it through the school day (although we had to finish up in the evening hours).
We made it to my mom’s pre-screening COVID test. Not a lot of fun in that experience. But she got it done.
Then I made it to my radiation appointment to review the plan and try out radiation scans for the treatments that start tomorrow. Darn that mask and the uncomfortable feeling it causes me! Then I also found out my previous tech team were moved to a new location so I have new techs that are not as compassionate. I am going to need some extra prayers for them this week. Lord, help them to see their job as ministering to the sick and not just a paycheck! I know I can do this treatment regardless of their attitude, as I will pray my way through the process. However, I do pray for these techs to have a change of heart for other patients who need to be helped with compassion.
We left radiation and headed home. We celebrated the lives of several martyrs who gave witness to Christ’s love and salvation in the early years of North American exploration. We remembered their struggles of reaching the hearts of the Native Americans by sharing in a simple meal we like to call Three Sisters Stew. I have always thought this Native legend would make a good children’s story. Tonight I came up with a way to make it work. Praying I can take some time this week to write it down.
Since I have always tried to be honest in these updates, I want to share that our family had a rough night today. I can never seem to figure out why these things happen. But we have these trying evenings from time to time...and this was one of those nights. It was like the perfect storm...no matter how hard we tried our ship was sailing into troubled waters. You know...we are a lively crew and tonight we were all wound up. So glad after a little bit of a shouting match, we were able to agree (forcibly ?) that we all needed to get some extra sleep. [Although this is a stressful time for our family, this is nothing new for us. Over the years, I see this happen and wonder sometimes if other families deal with this too.]
It is quiet in the house now. I thought I would go to sleep quickly after the others, yet here I am awake. I am still contemplating how this day happened. It was a day of blah and not so fun experiences, but it was a day created for us to live. So I take a deep breath and relax in that thought.
This is not a day that I would want to repeat or have as a lasting memory. However, it was a day to live so I am thankful. Now maybe I can go to sleep and be refreshed for a new day.
Praise be to God!!
COMMENTS
Angel Weers
We all have those days. And no matter how thankful we are to have the days, sometimes the days still get to us, individually and/or as a family. Sometimes our rough edges poke each other and are just an irritant that goes against all the good intentions we have in our hearts and minds. LOL Your family is amazing with how well you all work together. You have done an amazing job as a unit, but you're all still human. 😉 It's actually nice to know that EVEN you all have those trying times together. Love you all!
Jean Moses
Your honesty and reflections are inspiring. Praying that today will go smoothly and medical people you have contact with will be full of compassion—but if not, that your compassion and witness of your love of Jesus will inspire them and influence them.
Paula Thompson Havard
I have prayed that you are all refreshed today and that the outlook is better. However bad the day may feel, a day that causes you to be closer to our savior through prayer and to find ways to be thankful is not a bad day. Rather it is a positive response to things that just dont feel good. Thanks for letting me pray with you.
Of course, that means I probably over did it this weekend too. I finally gave in and took some pain medicine late this morning. Once the celebration was ended, I went back to resting in my chair with a view.
I finally have my fall decorations on display too. I only decorate the outside of the house for Autumn, Advent/Christmas and 4th of July. So I am glad we could get my pumpkin patch set up on the front porch.
This week is going to be a full one. We have doctor appointments, schooling and preparing the crew for another camping trip (i will skip this one).
I got word from the radiologist office late Friday afternoon. I will have six days of radiation starting tomorrow (October 19). This will be to treat the lesions on my neck and hip.
Also, my mom has her angioplasty on Friday. Tomorrow she will need to be COVID tested to be cleared for the procedure.
I get tired easily right now in the chemo cycle, so I drift off to sleep even while typing ax message. I hope this next week I will be back on track so we can get everything done.
Thanks for all your continued prayers. God bless you all.
Once again, Fr. Martin seemed to fit well with my early morning reflections.
These are my motes from his Sunday homily:
Whose image and seal is marking us? Looking at the coins of today would be the same issue as it was in the time of Jesus. But the image on the coin is not important at all. Jesus comes to remind us that we are made in the image of God. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit and we are owned by God. At the end of our time on earth, will we have that seal that God has placed on our soul? If the answer is yes, then we will be able to pay to God what is God's for our entry into the kingdom. Instead of arguing with the two groups, Jesus offered a message that would save all of them. We are given the same choice to accept the message today.
COMMENTS
Linda Izaguirre
This is so beautiful. When I felt so close I received comfort. When I was able to receive Jesus at the hospital after weeks of not having his body. I cried unstoppable and felt such a joy. ❤🙏 Thank you always writing your journey. Sending you the biggest hug.
RESPONSE
Linda Izaguirre as much as I do feel the same way about how close i feel to God. I really did not write this about my journey so much as the many ways people take these trying times of pandemic and unrest to discuss the end of the world. I told my mom and Michael about this post because I worried they would think I was having thoughts specifically on my own end of life. While i do prepare for my end as suggested in the post, I don’t think God is calling me home just yet.
I wanted to send this out on Wednesday but I kept falling asleep before I could finish typing. It seems my steroid crash has lasted several days this time around. I have been sleeping a lot this week. So here is the reflection I had about the end of the world.
Doomsayers beware!!!
I spent most of the day surrounded by news feeds, social media outlets, prayer books, and personal encounters with friends and strangers...it seemed like the day to reflect on the end of the world as we know it.
Personally, I have always been interested in eschatology...the theological study of all things concerned with death, judgment, and the final destiny of the soul and of humankind.
I am not sure why I have this interest but I just think it is the means to what can be a glorious ending. In all my studies I am always amazed by those who fear what we all must face one day...Death!!!
I think this is why so many people are fascinated by the end of world. It allows us to consider desth on acgrand scale rsther than on a more personal level. After all, if I am going down then the whole world must becgoing down with me. It sounds more doable than if I had to think about my own death while everyone else continues on their merry way. But for Christians and other faiths who believevin an everlasting life, we should not fear death.
Today I began the morning with this simple prayer:
“Let us enter God’s presence rejoicing!”
This was followed by the words of Jesus:
“I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture.” (John 10:9)
I don’t know about you, but when I look at death it seems pretty simple. Follow God in this world and you are promised an eternity with God.
Well, there is one catch...you have to actually die. And, I think for most people, the real hiccup is about that moment in our lives when things get a little scary thinking about what the end will be like for us.
However, God has you taken care of if you allow him to control the plan. He tells us throughout Scripture that he has the end of the world under control. Jesus told us after describing the end of time, quite simply,
“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.” Matthew 24:36
We can not prepare for the end of the world because it will come like the thief in the night. However, we can prepare ourselves for our own death. We can live a life believing that God saves us from our sins. We can live a life loving God and helping others. We can be ready for our death by the hope given to us about eternity with God.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23
Because if we are truly in tune with life we know that we are restless in this world. We are not truly home. We just have forgotten what life in paradise should be like...our body yearns for something more. That “something” is perfection which can only be obtained through Christ’s love for us.
“So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:6-8
So be gone all ye, doomsayers!! We have no room for you in our walk of faith. We are prepared for the coming of the Lord regardless if it is the end of the world as we know it or if it is our own personal journey’s end.
October 14 (Wednesday)...
It was a beautiful day today! Too beautiful to worry about what might be wrong with the world around me. And yet, I cannot help but think that it was a bittersweet moment on this cancer journey.
I am convinced that we should be happy to NOT know the future. (Get ready because I already have a non update reflection coming later on this topic.).
When my mom and I sat in her living room naively optimistic listening to Dr. Drengler on my first telemed appointment. He discussed the treatment plan and it sounded so simple on that May morning. It was not like he was trying to hide anything. We just did not understand that this was just the beginning of a beautiful relationship. A relationship, like any other, when the twists and turns are not known ahead of time. Oh yeah, it is like that roller coaster ride I keep saying I am riding!
So, when he listed out the game plan to me, it seemed pretty doable. I would have the following treatment:
A colon reduction surgery...✔️
Radiation directly to the liver tumors...✔️
Radiation directly to my bone legions... ✔️
And last but not least...
Chemo (6 rounds of three day treatments)
Throughout the chemo treatments, it was especially nice at the beginning to watch the ones who were completing their treatments. They would have the opportunity to ring the bell and triumph over their cancer victory. No more cancer! As I watched, I thought that would be fun to do one day.
Well, today would have been that day. The day I should be ringing that bell. Today...this beautiful fall day...the day I walked out of the chemo room where the kind nurse Amy volunteered to watch my belongings while I took a two hour break between appointments. A beautiful afternoon when the temperature and humidity was just right and the fall breeze helped to make my short walk even more enjoyable. How can I complain about what is going wrong in the world? Not when I was walking to lunch on a beautiful day like today!!!
I arrived at a little family owned restaurant that my mom enjoyed back in the heat of the summer. I had told her I would go there one day to meet the owners like she did and thank them for their kindness to her. When I got there, I realized that they are just joyful people running a business. A set of siblings who work well together and treat everyone who comes to their restaurant with kindness. But after I enjoyed my lunch, the same man came to me and said he remembered my mom and we talked about cancer and life. It was a good conversation. I went away once again knowing that it was a good day to praise God!
On the walk back to the clinic, I remind myself that the wild jerky curve on this roller coaster ride can be taken in one of two ways...in fact, I was just talking about this with my Tornado Teen. I could tense up and have a back jarring experience that is not any fun and could actually harm me in some way. When you are on the cancer coaster that cannot be a good choice. Or you can relax and throw up your arms and ride through the curve enjoying the thrill! Well, I have never been one to do that on a roller coaster ride. However, if I can trust God to help me let go on this cancer coaster. I might be able to forget my feeling that this is a bittersweet moment in my life.
Side track (sort of)... when I was taking theology classes, we were taught what is known as a liminal moment. A moment in time when you have to make a choice. For our faith that means deciding if we are going to follow God’s will or our own. Even when both options might be good choices, we are given opportunity to choose the path of God or not. When looking back on our lives in reflection, we can see the moments more clearly than when we do at the moment. I could go on but I already digress too far in this post. I only bring this up because I felt like this was one of those moments for my life today.
So, due to many things that happened to me today beyond treatments, I walked back from my lunch break realizing I needed to make a choice. See this day as bittersweet or a day of new hope. I actually knew this curve in the ride was coming weeks ago. I guess i just did not know how I would feel when it happened. Furthermore, I did not know what was going to happen as I rounded that curve, as I do now.
When I had this conversation with my younger brother earlier last month, he told me to NEVER ring that bell!! He had wanted to go through the Navy Seals program and watched training videos to prepare himself should he be selected. He said to ring the bell meant defeat. He told me to never give up and continue to battle cancer. Good advice from a kid brother, right? So no bell ringing for me!!!
So, what was around that curve? Oh yes!! Today the curve led me to another round of radiation tattooing. Since this was my second time through this experience, and I had this understanding that I needed to make a choice to follow God’s will, I chose to throw my arms up into the air and make the most of it.
I greeted everyone I met along the way as if I loved this cancer coaster. I smiled my way through the hallways. I thanked everyone who helped no matter how small the task. I whipped out my already made mask from my July treatments and told them I was ready for round two!! They laughed when I told them I kept the mask to share the experience with my children. It saved a step in the process so how could they complain.
I have now been tattooed in places I never expected but survived the experience. Now I am ready for radiation to my hip and neck. Probably next week but no dates on the calendar yet. I am ready to make it happen and continue the ride knowing that more curves will come my way.
After a quick dinner, we were out the door to take Little Miss to her tutor. My mom and I spent the hour hunting down a benchmark to help me with a geocache challenge for the month. It passed the time!!
On the way home, I had this motherly instinct that we were going to arrive home to a surprise visitor. I did not say anything but I was right!! Our College Guy came home a day early to surprise all of us! More on why he is visiting for the weekend later. But we were all thrilled and happy to have him for an extra few hours!!!
To add to our joy, we had an early delivery for our next dinner. We were all excited to hear from Rita who brought us a late night delivery. We got to talk from the curb again today. And such a joy to have a fun conversation to get to know each other a little more. God is so good to place new friends in our lives during this time in our lives.
See...no reason for bitterness...only hold on to the sweetness! God will hold us up during the rough curves!! God is good all the time!!!
Oh! And quick update on our smelly Hankie. No bath seems to help this guy so we called a groomer. No guarantees but they are going to groom and bathe him. Most likely with his long coat it is just going to take time to wear off.
Take care all! God bless!
COMMENTS
Heidi Frazier
What a great post. I too, when hearing my cancer plan, thought it sounded like a manageable, doable plan... chemo..check! radiation...check! chemo...check! I remember thinking, "Ok, I can do that." But wow did plans get derailed. I think that's the hidden agenda of treatment that the doctors don't share in the beginning because it would be too overwhelming when we are in that early, fragile state. But plow ahead we do. I remember that bell and refused to ring it at the end of my radiation treatment which was very, very hard. Everyone commented on my strength. Getting through had nothing to do with a chosen strength or bravery. I refused to ring that bell because in those moments what choice do we really have? We do what we have to do to survive. Period. So I didn't feel like when completing treatment, I had accomplished anything. It was luck or chance or grace that I could finish the course of treatments. My will had nothing to do with it. (What did patients whose bodies couldn't tolerate the treatment to the end do? Not ring the bell? Horrible.) And to compound this, the facility I received treatment from, actually handed me a rolled certificate, tied in a ribbon at the completion, like a kindergarten student receives on his way to first grade. I found it appalling. (I burned it! 😉 ) I also didn't want to be boastful in front of God, as though I were saying, "look what I did," "I beat this," like it had anything to do with me at all. Well all of this is to say, hang in there, Michelle. To some ringing that bell or receiving that certificate is momentous and I absolutely respect that. In the end our walk through cancer is unique. I love reading your posts and living your perspective. Keep them coming and I hope it's ok I shared my own personal experience on your page.
Jean Moses
Your writings are so inspiring and encouraging. Your faith and attitudes have a great healing effect! I believe God is going to heal you!!
Ginger Hagood Jonason
Thank you for sharing this testimony
October 13 (Tuesday) ....
After my all-nighter yesterday...today?... I was glad for the low key morning.
My mom and I went to Mass, but left quickly to make it to back to have children set up for a school day. Also checked on our Hankie who continues to smell terrible. There has to be an easier way to de-skunk a dog. He is miserable.
Arrived at center in time to follow up on some advice given by friend. Pharmacist was very thoughtful about my situation with skin side effects. He had seen this before and promised to review my case and discuss with my doctor. So maybe we can find a solution.
Arrived and quickly got started with chemo. I decided it was a nap day. It was nice to kick back and sleep for a bit. I woke up with 5 minutes left of treatment.
My good friend, Sandy Farnham, offered to pick me up today. It was a nice ride home and when i mentioned the skunked dog, she had a solution. With a quick reroute we were picking up her dog shampoo that worked for her dog.
Sandy also provided the meal for a long distance friend who wants to share in the gift of meal giving. A thank you to Debbie Parker via Sandy. We were also surprised by a gift from Sandy’s pastor of two angels that are so beautiful. We loved the meal and the kindnesses all around.
A quiet evening once we gave Hank another scrub down and then another. He still smells bad but getting better. Another night in the kennel for our doggie! 😞
Family prayers and bedtime at a reasonable hour for all! One more day of chemo this week.
Thanks for the prayers from all. God bless!
COMMENTS
Debbie Parker
Glad you enjoyed the meal and special kudos to Sandy for helping me make it work.
Sandy Farnham
Debbie, thank for helping and allowing me to be your hands and feet behind the scenes
Darlene Belanger
Just finished reading The Great Divorce, very good.
October 12 (Monday)...
I am so blessed to have spent almost five hours going into the wee hours of the morning in conversation with my friend, Heidi Frazier, knowing that I could have spent another five hours talking and feeling like it happened in the blink of an eye.
What did we talk about during those five hours? She let me talk about my crazy Reynolds family day She gave me advice. Then she talked about her life and I gave her advice. What a wonderful gift!!!
My day started at 0100, and without giving too much information, you will learn that I had to spend too much time sitting on the porcelain bowl in the bathroom. I made it across the room and realized that there was an awful smell permeating the air around our open concept living space. I thought it was just my hyper-sensitive sense of smell and went back to sleep.
I woke up again at 0500 and the smell was even worse. So, I woke up Michael and asked him to help me figure out the problem. He said it had to be a skunk. What!!??!! How is it possible? So we looked everywhere and no source (the dog was offended at the thought). We looked outside and no smell.
By this time, Michael had to leave for work and the family was slowly waking up and coming into the common area wishing they had not. My Tornado thought it might be a gas leak, which worried me since i would be gone all day for chemo. I gave instructions to go outside if the smell grew worse or they just could not stand it.
Off mom and I went to my sixth round of chemo. Mom dropped me off and Nancy would pick me up later in the day. It turns out that I must have really wanted away from that smelly house because I arrived over thirty minutes early for my treatments.
When I called later in the day, my mom had opened windows and dog was sent outside by the crew. Our Tornado insisted it was the dog. Our quiet preteen confirmed that the smell surrounding our outdoor shed had a similar awful smell. We assume that is where the skunking happened. Little Miss decided her Hankie needed to wait outside for my return.
Meanwhile, I was learning that arriving early brought no special treatment. I was passed over several times as the waiting room held less company to pass the time. This is starting to sound like an earlier experience from last month!! When will I ever learn the lesson of patience?
Just after 1130 (an hour after my designated appointment), I was called back to have my blood drawn for labs. A new nurse again, so as she gathered her needed equipment Dr. Drengler’s nurse passed by and ask if I got her message from last week. I snapped out that I got the message and was pretty upset about being sent to NP Wendy again. She assured me that his promise was kept and he would see me. This surprised the new nurse who insisted Nurse Monica was wrong. I felt like a game of tug of war was about to start, but I am thankful that experience paid off today. I was off to see the wizard...I mean Dr. Drengler....Yay!!!
I would have to pay the price for victory. As I was placed in the exam room, I heard over the PA system that the hospital needed to talk to Dr. Drengler STAT. I smiled and told Nurse Monica that I understood and would wait patiently.
Let’s just say, I did not get the Emerald City spa treatment for my willingness to wait patiently. And I learned very quickly that as much as Dr. Drengler wants to be the all powerful wizard, sometimes it is better to state the facts of the situation.
Back surgery was a success...I feel better every day and continue to take needed precautions. The pain in my neck is now explained and not just about sleeping on my neck wrong. He is glad I am going to have this issue addressed with radiation along with my hip.
When I asked about the cancer spread in my bones, he told me that when liver cancer (an already agressive cancer) spreads to the bones, it is considered a secondary cancer parallel to the liver cancer. It can be one of two cancers (a non-aggressive cancer OR an aggressive cancer). He is setting up a comparison PET scan to show the change in the images. This scan will determine which type of bone cancer I have manifested in my body. He also wants a precautionary MRI scan done of my brain. He told me not to be concerned but since this had not been done, he did not want to take any chances that we were missing anything.
He asked me if I had any new side effects. We discussed the dry crusty skin and skin tags that are now showing up on my face and arms in the last couple of weeks. He said he had not seen any of these side effects in his patients on my treatment plan, but I do seem to like to do things differently. He would review this information and let me know what to do.
All I can say is that he did not look pleased but he was glad I continued to fight. He would also continue to stay up late thinking about all that we discussed.
Although I would love it if he gave me good news, he does continue to give hope that he is looking for answers. He continues to stay up late thinking of treatments to help stop the spread of this cancer. And he was listening to my concerns and will even look for answers to the odd side effects that keep popping up after a chemo treatment.
Our next visit is scheduled, along with the discussed scans, and we were both off to find our way down the Yellow Brick Road! [Remember our little dance we created for the talent show back in elementary school, Angel Weers, KC Gentry? Who was fourth?]. I will meet up again with Dr. Drengler on November 9 to discuss a revised treatment plan based on all the current scans on file.
I was now almost an hour late to chemo, but I was with my sweet Nurse Cindy!!! She had my IV bags ready for me and treatments began quickly. A sweet lady who arrived with in the oncologist waiting room three hours before would be my chemo partner. We had a nice talk throughput treatment. But she left well before I was done, so I spent time in prayer (not nearly enough) and wasting time with news and my word game.
I did not finish until after 1630 but my faithful pick up driver, Nancy, was waiting outside in spite of my being an hour and half late. A nice ride home giving her updates.
I got home after Michael, so I gathered every one into the living room (free of the awful odor thanks to our airing out). Just as the crew got restless from the report of the day, the phone rings. It is almost 1800 so it must be one of my brothers, but something told me it was a more urgent call that we had been waiting to receive. I told our littles who rushed for the phone...in the other part of the house...a common occurrence since Gramma is not attached to her phone like the younger generations...not to answer the phone but to bring it quickly for Gramma to answer.
My instincts were right because it was indeed the scheduler for her procedure. We now know that my mom will go into her angioplasty a week from Friday (October 23). With a quick trip next Monday for her first COVID test. It is so good to have this on the calendar so we can figure out our new game plan, of course knowing it could all change in a heartbeat...quite literally in her case.
Just as she hung up, the doorbell rang. No worries for dinner, Sandy Farnham brought us tasty fajita fixings. As the crew was taking in the food, I was talking with her about all the happenings of the day. Out from the house, Michael rushes to tell me that the crew was supposed to be at their first 4-H meeting of the year. So they were off in a flash without dinner. Sandy volunteered to pick me up from chemo as she zoomed to get out of the way.
My mom and I were thankful for the quiet to discuss all the dates we now have on the calendar. We are writing appointments in pencil now. We realize that having her procedure the following week will be great for her recovery. Michael had already planned on taking the crew on another geo-camping adventure. We know all the campers will help Michael with the crew. This also resolves the issue of how to get Sean to work as he will be on the camping trip too. So my mom and I will stay back and have a much needed weekend of rest. We already have Nancy on the calendar to help us with transportation. Maybe we will feel like a weekend full of card games or typing up her memory book.
Michael arrived home with the crew in time to add all the 4-H dates to the calendar also. This made me think about other everyday scheduled events to the mix too.
The crew finally got to sit down for a very late dinner. Then we started smelling the return of the odor in the house. Hankie would need to spend a night in the kennel wired shut because he is a smart Houdini. My mom thought this funny and we had a good laugh because you cannot make up the things that bring added interest to our crazy story! Hank would somehow need to be bathed in a de-skunking scrub down before going into the kennel. Holding down dog and scrubbing him and washing him off all in the dark of the night. Our neighbors must wonder what the hullabaloo is all about at 2100 at the Reynolds house. Then all the crew needed showers. So our family prayer time was after 2200.
They were all exhausted but not ME who was still on the high from the first day of steroids. So I was glad to have the text from Heidi Frazier who was happy for the phone call that lasted for five hours! And so ends this long update. I have now stayed up all night still full of energy. I will crash and burn at some point, I am sure.
Please pray for the remainder of October to be calm yet productive. Pray for me and my mom (who do you think I learned to be so in control from) to enjoy giving in to rest and pampering. I still need to throw in a round of radiation to this mix this month. There is much to pray about and we appreciate you all for taking your time. I continue to be humbled by the outpouring of prayer support. May God bless you all!
COMMENTS
Linda Austin
I am exhausted with your schedule and in awe how coordinated you seem to be. I am so glad you have a free weekend . Prayers for sweet Mom and especially you. Love from Moral.
Angel Weers
Of course I remember! I think about it pretty often, actually. I think it was Katie. But it might have been...ugh, just had a moment, but you know who I mean, K.C., our buddy who lived down the road from me... (I hate it when I do that. I could have said his name an hour ago. LOL)
After my last message I should have just gone to sleep but I have had some thoughts running through my head since the middle of the week. I had gone to a zoom meeting on Wednesday evening for our parish. Fr. Martin has started this to help us get to know each other while we keep our social distance during the pandemic. I thought it was a good idea so i joined the group to see who I could meet.
Fr. Martin talked about the news of our parish that is under formation. Then we read the Gospel for the next Sunday together and reflected on what we thought it meant. Then Father asked us to share, if we desired, a time when God was present in our lives. In the discussion, Fr. Martin suggested a book to read that might help us understand the Gospel reading. I could not refuse a good book, so I immediately went on our book app and found the audiobook version of “The Great Divorce” by C. S. Lewis. I have now listened to it twice. And reread the Gospel reading this early morning.
The Gospel has a very hard to understand parable that Jesus shares while be questioned by the pharisees and chief priests. In the parable, the king was refused by his invited guests to a wedding. So he asks his servants to go out into the streets and invite anyone to enjoy the wedding feast. Here is the part that has always seemed troubling to me:
“But when the king came in to meet the guests, he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment. The king said to him, ‘My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?’ But he was reduced to silence. Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’ Many are invited, but few are chosen.” Matthew 22: 1-14
Again, we discussed this passage on Wednesday night. Father asked for our explanations but nothing seemed very satisfactory. He mentioned the book and how it might help us relate to the passage. He said he would share more with us on Sunday at Mass. I just could not seem to get it off my mind. So when I woke up this morning with it still on my mind, I thought about what it might mean. And this thought came to me:
What if the wedding garment is really this glorified presentation of ourselves giving our lives over to Christ? That would mean we don’t need to present ourselves after death in fancy clothes. This is an analogy of giving ourselves completely to God. After all, if it were just about the clothes we wear, would God really get so upset about a man not being fancy enough when he was just picked up off the street to attend the wedding?
This is about God giving us all the opportunity to join in the banquet of Heaven. Where once it was thought to be reserved for a select group of chosen people, God is saying all are invited and welcome. However, he does ask one thing of us. He wants us to accept his will in our lives to believe that Jesus is our God and Savior.
So God does not reject this man at the feast. This man chose to not come to Heaven prepared to accept God’s will. He wanted to wear his old beat up clothes full of remorse and sadness, anger and revenge, lost hope and despair...or whatever else might keep him from giving up his old self and being presented to God as a new creation.
Reading the book by Lewis got me thinking about what Father saw in connection with this Gospel reading. If you have not read the book, I encourage you to take the time. It is short and easy to read. It is about a man seeing what it is like to crossover into Heaven.
I think the man in the passage from Matthew not wanting to put on a wedding garment represents us. Are we willing to set aside our issues...our sins...our annoyances...the times when others have bothered us and we wanted our grievances heard...the times when those closest to us have hurt us or disappointed us in some way? Are we willing to even set aside what we love for the acceptance of the wedding garment, so we can be prepared by God for the banquet in Heaven?
None of us know how long we have on this earth. Any of us could be gone in the blink of an eye...even this very day. We must prepare ourselves for the wedding feast. We must prepare ourselves to be able to answer that request to let God place the wedding garment on us by letting go of our life and all its trappings.
Praying for all of us to see how beautiful we will be at the banquet in Heaven. God bless you!
COMMENTS
I went to Mass and Fr. Martin gave his reflection on the reading that I reflected on. I could mot help but take some notes.
The feast represents the Abundance of God for the love of his people. He wants to share with them the joy of His Son. Those not willing to come to the banquet because of their busy-ness did not understand the importance of the feast and thought their time was spent better served by doing things on earth. Jesus wants everyone to know they are invited to the feast for even those considered on the outskirts.
Then we have the man invited who came who did not come with a wedding garment and was thrown out. Why?
Faith and hope and love are our garments.
In the open doorway of heaven, many come in with various struggles and have wrapped themselves too tightly with their attachments that keep them from entering heaven.
We must trust in God to be allowed to be clothed in the wedding garment.
Angie Fischer Artho
That passage has always bothered me a bit because my lack of understanding of what it meant. Thanks for your reflection on it.
DeDe Noel Rogowski
Thank you for a beautiful reflection. I’ve always been puzzled by this passage. You have given me new perspective!
RESPONSE
I am still working through this too I was just telling my mom that this is why the Bible is the Living Word. I was following the trail of the wedding garment. I could be on that word phrase for a long time. Throw in the wedding banquet/feast and it goes even deeper. Much to ponder indeed!!!
Diana Brock Dow
That parable is similar to what Jesus said in Matthew 7: Not everyone who says to Me Lord, Lord shall enter the kingdom of heaven... There are many people who think they are doing God's will but in reality are only doing what they think is right. That's not good enough for God. He wants complete surrender to Him in all areas of our life. How sad it would be to live our lives thinking we are pleasing God only to find out too late that we were just pleasing ourselves. Thank you for taking the time to remind us all of this parable.
RESPONSE
Diana Brock Dow thank you. I thought there was a similar parable...maybe in another Gospel...but could not find it. Yes. I think it is funny that we would think we could earn our way into heaven. Another topic to reflect on for another day.
It’s really early in the morning and I cannot sleep. I scroll through Facebook and then the internet news...I cannot believe all of the things I am reading. I really want to sleep but I slept a lot yesterday throughout the day.
I had another rough day feeling sorry for myself. I will have some apologies to make when my family wake up. I told them to have a good day as I moped because I could not go out. Then I nitpicked everything they did because I wish that I could just do it myself.
So I guess God wanted me to know that he knew this sitting around is the hardest thing I can do. He knows that I can tough it out through anything cancer throws my way...just please do not make me sit still for a long time.
Since I did not listen to him tell me, God found another way to whisper it in my ear. Because just about the time I was fed up with my Facebook feed, I came across not just one message but two that I felt were meant for me today
“God has a purpose for your pain,
a reason for your struggle,
and a gift for your faithfulness.
Don't give up!”
and
“Dear God, help those who are struggling,
or trying to make sense of things in their lives.
Help those who have hearts or illness in their lives right now.
Give them the strength they need to carry on. Amen. “
So I wanted to share with you right now in case you also need to hear this message. "God loves you!!"
COMMENTS
Raquel Eichelman
Wow my friend just wow, I needed to read this, I feel bad because you’re going thru this right now yet here you are sharing this. Thanks for thinking of others, you are in my prayers, you are such a beautiful and kind person((((hugs)))))
October 9 (Friday)... I am doing much better today. The rash is not as painful or itchy and my actual back incisions are not painful. So I am able to relax and enjoy the day.
We had a couple of visitors come to the house to have lunch. It was nice to see Tracey and Donald because we had not seen them since the end of January. I had a chance to catch up on all that we had missed in these few months. Donald and Edward were glad to have time to talk also.
Let me tell you...this was an answered prayer because my Tornado Teen is really missing being with people...I know he was so overjoyed to have his friend come visit him.
This weekend will be another couple of days of rest before my next round of chemo. I am sure we will find something to do to stay busy.
Thanks for your prayers for recovery. God blessings to you all.
October 7 (Wednesday)...
I got a phone call from my surgeon’s office today to follow up with surgery. When I told his nurse that i had a severe burn on my back from something done during surgery she apologized for the pain. She listened to my concern and told me to try to make myself comfortable.
Even though they went against my orders and used this adhesive, I do appreciate the apology and follow up. We then discussed options for care and chose to use what I consider the best overall rash treatment. It is a lotion my mother learned about many years ago while working at a nursing home. The relief was practically instantaneous. By the end of the day, the rash began to fade and the pain was gone. I just have to keep it off the incision areas.
Thanks for the added prayers during recovery.
God’s blessings to all!
October 6 (Tuesday)... just a short update today.
I think the second day after a procedure is the worst. I just spent the day close to the sun room view. However, early this morning I began to feel like my back was on fire. When I asked my mom to take a look, we were surprised to find that I had broke out in a sunburn like rash across my entire back. After closer examination we have determined, I can add one more thing to my list of allergies...the pre-op skin sanitizer. I am not sure what this is called but possibly hepi-cleanse or betadine. The worst part is that I was told not to shower until Wednesday evening to avoid infection. So I am stuck with this on my back until then.
Once again my actual surgery was successful and although I am in a small amount of pain from the surgery, my back and incisions seem to be healing well.
We were blessed with a simple meal from our friend, Lucy. She is always so thoughtful in her food choices. It was a relief to not worry about how to put together a meal today.
I turn to the closing prayer from our evening devotional and take comfort that this to shall pass:
”May the God of peace himself make us perfect in holiness. May he preserve us whole and entire, spirit, soul, and body, irreproachable at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Amen. (1 Thessalonians 5:23)
October 5 (Monday) ... I was up and out the door before 0400 to make it to the hospital for my surgery. I will admit that I was a little nervous, but I took on this surgery like all the other procedures. I know that those who are caring for me are the experts and I am just along for the ride doing what I am told. These professionals have been placed along my path for good reasons, so I accept the good that is meant for me and hopefully for them as well.
After considering the options for this month of doctor appointments, we realized once again that our attempt at planning did not fit with some greater plan. We laugh at how much we thought we knew and move forward.
So for this procedure it was obvious what we should do. My mom and I are the early birds, so it made sense for her to take me to the surgery. She was home before anyone even knew she was gone.
I was quickly taken up to the pre-op area and prepped for surgery. Nothing really profound in that process. Although Nurse Katie did manage to start an IV in my hand with no pain and later no bruising, which was pretty amazing to me. I met my team of medical staff before falling into a blissful sleep as I prayed for all involved (including those of you who were praying for me).
I woke up in what seemed like a blink of an eye. I was surprised to feel the pain in my back with a post-op nurse asking if I was ready for morphine. I guess I had gotten used to the doctor just giving me pain meds without my approval during procedures. However, I learned that with back surgery, I would need to prove I had range of motion and feeling to my extremities before pain medication could be given. I passed their recovery tests and took the pain meds (morphine and narco cocktail) quickly.
My stay in recovery would only last two hours because I passed all the mobility tests without any trouble. The physical therapist was especially pleased with my balance and ease of movement. So my mom came to pick me up just after 0900 and we were home by 1000. Unfortunately, the ride home included two stops for me to relieve my body of the juice and crackers I enjoyed while in recovery.
Once I was settled at home, I drifted in and out of sleep throughout the afternoon. I was even able to help a little with the children and school. I was actually very proud of my crew because they completed most of their school by helping each other. My mom also helped our Little Miss. I am so glad for this part of the routine to be going so well.
I was able to take a few phone calls but for the most part I tried to avoid talking. I had been intebated for the surgery so my throat was a little sore from the experience. Add this and compression stockings to my list of firsts.
Michael surprised us by coming home an hour early from work. He arrived about the same time as our dinner that was so nicely prepared by Rita from church. It was a nice way to end the day as we were so blessed not to have this worry.
Michael then took the crew for an evening walk. No sooner had they left, our Tornado Teen came home. He told me that someone should stay with me in case I needed help. In spite of his hyped personality and typical teen self-centeredness, he does care. And I think he was quite open last night with his concern for me. It was his first time to tell me that he was worried for me and we were able to discuss his need to trust God. Also, I told him that I was glad he could talk to me about his feelings. I think he and our college guy (just because he is not here to live through all of this so does not filly understand) have it the hardest as far as vocalizing how they feel. I also am concerned for Michael who does not seem to like to talk about all of this cancer stuff. Praying for all of them to find someone to share as I think it is important to have an outlet for sharing their feelings.
As for myself, I feel good...mostly because I am following orders and resting. I have no plans for adventures this week. I will be staying home and boredom will be filled with my crew entertaining me.
Thanks for your prayers and well wishes. God bless you all!
COMMENTS
Susan Loffer
I'm very proud of the way you are facing and dealing with all of this, Michelle Reynolds. Prayers for a quick and smooth recovery from this latest setback.
Linda Austin
Listening to you describe the surgery makes it sound easy. You are blessed to be able to vocalize your journey. Prayers for all especially the guys!
RESPONSE
Linda Austin well it was real easy for me! 🤣 But i am sure the medical team had the hard part covered.
October 4 (Sunday)...
After a weekend to digest all the changes that came about on Friday, I feel so blessed. I have had so many of you letting me know you are praying for me. I have even been told about special prayer intentions at Mass in several churches.
I had a good weekend that was quite busy. On Saturday, I completed my retreat for the second week. I also went to a park event. Then the crew helped unload a large truckload of pumpkins for a church. Then home again in time for dinner.
On Sunday, we went to Mass. With the Gospel reading on my mind the rest of the day:
”Brothers and sisters: Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
I thought about why we ask others to pray for us. I think sometimes it is easier for those not directly involved in a situation to see what is really needed. I think sometimes just being in the middle of all the rush of a situation can cloud the thoughts of the one who needs prayers. I am so glad for all of you pray with more clarity.
Then at the end of the day, I think God wanted to make sure I got the message. Our devotion for our evening family prayer began with this verse and message:
“Cast all your worries upon God because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
“Anxiety focuses our attention on ourselves. Saint Paul proposes that we drive it out by turning to God in prayer “in all things.” Then we will be ruled by the peace that frees us to bear good fruit through love for God and our neighbor.”
So I end my weekend with peace in knowing that God is taking care of us.
I have to be up early tomorrow to make it to the hospital at 0430. My surgery should begin at 0600. If all goes well, I will be home by noon.
I will be sure to let you all know the outcome as soon as I can tomorrow afternoon. God bless you all!!
October 2 (Friday)...
I feel like I played a game of ping pong today, and I was the ping pong ball!
For those who saw my post on my Facebook feed, I am sorry if I had you worried. But today was pretty stressful trying to figure out a new schedule when the one planned was ripped out my planner and I had to start a new plan for October. To be honest, we are still not sure of all the plans for the month.
I started out my morning with my crew...we were going to Mass to pray and celebrate the Feast of Our Guardian Angels. I really appreciated Fr. Martin when he began Mass stating, “We have come together to acknowledge our weaknesses and confirm our need for God in our lives.”
In hindsight, I should have taken more notice of the Reading from Psalm 139:
“Guide me, Lord, along the everlasting way.”
Maybe I would not have been so quick to send out my plea for more prayers (Although I am thankful for all those who prayed for me.). I truly believe everything happens for a reason in God’s great plan. So, I am sure there is a reason my nicely inked planner was thrown to the wind with just one simple phone call.
As we were leaving Mass, I got a phone call from the surgical facility. They wanted to know what time I could come in for my surgery pre-screening. What!!??!! I don’t even have a surgery date. Yes, you do...We show you scheduled for Monday. What!!!??!!!
So the scrambling began. I would need to talk to my oncologist before committing to surgery on Monday. No answer!! I would need to verify with neurosurgeon before committing to pre-screening tests. No answer!! I would need to talk with my radiologist before making plans. No answer!!!
After several go arounds waiting for someone to answer their phone, the plans were confirmed (until the next change! 😁). Then I called the surgical facility in hopes that the earliest appointment for pre-screening could take place before my appointment with radiologist.
We got the crew settled at home. Once again, I am thankful our school week is a four-day plan to allow for field trips and extracurricular activities. Today our field trip would be for me and my mom! 😁. Then we were out the door in time to make that appointment on the other side of town.
When I arrived, I was greeted by friendly staff who were eager to help every thing to run smoothly. Nurse Tommy led me to the back to begin the tests. Just a review of my medical history and medications. It always surprises new medical staff to find I only take vitamins & supplements and I have only had one other surgery. I always laugh and tell them I consider myself a healthy person with cancer.
Then I had lab work done. But wait!!! We only have one radiology tech today and he was taken from the OR to take an x-ray of my chest. Rush next door to have that done! Nope...just as I walked in the room, the phone rang to let him know he was needed back in OR as soon as possible.
Back to exam room for me to continue with blood draw. Yay for me!! My blood draw was easy today!!! Followed that with an EKG. I was told my pulse was slightly raised. What did they expect? I had been racing around to get it all done.
Now we just wait for x-ray tech. Oh by the way... I need to leave within the next 30 minutes to make it to my next appointment. Nurse Tommy said he would make it work. And while we waited we got to talk about my cancer and treatments...family...and how it was best to have patience. He told me that I was the highlight of his day!! Awww...😊 ...so sweet!!
But still no sign of a x-ray tech. So he told me that I should go to my appointment and come back for this final pre-screening test. BUT...one more thing... I had to do the dreaded COVID test. Odd but for some reason it had to be done outside. I am not sure why. But he walked me outside and had me standing there reaching over the top of me at an angle (we were the same height) and it felt like I was probed right up to my brain. My second COVID test and I hope I don’t have another one.
I raced to my radiologist and arrived right on time. The nurse asked me the typical questions, including the question about pain that I never know how to answer. I told her that at this time I am not feeling pain but when I do it is mainly in my back. Of course, I would be having back surgery to relieve that pain on Monday. Then the radiologist stepped in to begin consult.
Dr. Zubyk asked if I was having any pain in the areas where the cancer had spread. I laughed and told her no one had told me where I was supposed to be hurting. So she showed me the bone scan that was done three weeks ago. I have three new spots on my bones. The right scapula (shoulder blade) has minimal inconsequential spot. My left hip has a lesion which is also not very large (although it looked big to me on the scan shown). She does want to treat this area because it is weight bearing and could cause trouble if not treated.
Then there is a small spot on the cervical spine but this should not need to be treated unless it hurts. Well, I have been complaining about my neck since the end of July but no one seemed concerned so I stopped mentioning it. I just learned to turn my body when I needed to see to the left. She gave me a funny look and said we should treat the area. I asked if I would need a mask again. Yes. So then I asked if I could just bring the one from the last radiation treatment. She gave me another funny look. I am told no one saves their mask. I guess I am not like other people. 😁
I still have cancer showing in my lower back but this should be removed during back surgery. And I have the spot on my left temple but she wants to check that again before determining the need to radiate. She told me that we have no comparison bone scan for that spot so we will assume it has not grown. I think I will talk to Dr. Drengler about that when I see him next time.
So I will not be placed on her schedule until the insurance approves further radiation. She also wants to wait until after my next round of chemo treatment, which has now been postponed a week due to back surgery. I think the radiation will happen some time before the end of the month.
With that appointment complete, I went back to surgical facility to compete the x-ray needed. Quick and easy and back out the door in less than ten minutes. Nurse Tommy apologized for the need for me to return and was quick to get me into x-ray as soon as I arrived.
When talking to my oncologist nurse, she told me that Dr. Drengler also had plans for me to have an MRI and a PET Scan after my next round of chemo. So I will need to have that fit into my schedule too.
All of these appointments are doable. However, we also have to fit in my mom’s appointments too. Our main concern is determining drivers. I will not be able to drive for a month after back surgery. My mom was told she could not drive for 3-7 days after her procedure. Our only other driver is Michael who would need to take off work. I know we have friends willing to help. It just got a little crazy thinking about all the coordination that will need to happen to make it to all these appointments.
I begin to worry but when I stress..I asked for prayers. I am so thankful for my prayer warriors. And I know God is answering the prayers. Tonight during our family prayer this simple message was shown to us as we began:
“God rescues us in all our distress.”
So October begins with a bang. God is good and gives me strength through it all. And as I have come to know, the best made plans of man are not always God’s plan.
Jesus, I trust in you!!!
