Trust

I did something a little different this weekend...I did something for myself.

What does this have to do with trust?...you might ask.

Believe me...leaving my family for three day (actually ended up being four by the time you count in my regular day of volunteer work I did on Monday) to fend for themselves.

I had to give up my control of the household and TRUST that all would be OK.

This was HUGE for me...but I did it and the house did not fall apart.

So what did I do for three days?

I am now a certifiable (not certified as I need to actually have some case studies first) postpartum doula!  I have learned and shared my own experiences with others in a setting that allowed for growth.  I was with women of like minds who want to care for women during pregnancy, birth and postpartum to ensure the mother is cared for during her special time.

We were asked at the time, what it meant to us to be a doula.  For my own attempt, I felt called to write this post.  I include it in the realm of trust as there is so much more to being a doula than just allowing a woman to assist a mother after a birth.  There is a degree of trust that plays into the relationship that is formed between doula and mother-client.

As a postpartum doula, I will try to nurture the mother during one of the most special times of her life.  She must trust that I am not going to be intrusive or take over her role as mother.  She will need to walk the fine line of acknowledging my experience without feeling like she does not have any knowledge to share.  Incorporating the joy of the moment with the realization that she is vulnerable to this new role she is living.  I, in turn, need to be sensitive to her insecurities and guide her on her journey.

I will work to educate the new mother, as well as those who will continue to support her, as the need arises.  This means I will be available to assess her situation and refer her to outside sources as needed.  This would include other professional caregivers that I have gathered as resources for her care of self and baby.  This means she will need to trust me in as she learns this new role.  At a time when she might be vulnerable, she will have to ask for help.  She will need to trust that I am keeping her situation confidential.  She will also need to trust that I have the professional resources to help her.

She must also trust that I seek only to ensure that she has all the tools necessary to be successful and confident in her role as mother.  I have no desire to take over her role or make all her decisions for her.  As we were told in our class, "We are working ourselves out of job!"  We leave after our time with the new mother and child (and family), trusting that we have given the mother-client the trust in herself to be the best mother she can be.

As for the instruction, I just enjoyed being with these women who have strength through their experiences.  I was joyful in learning from the variety of experience shared.  And, I felt blessed to know that I could share from my own experiences.  Most of all, I feel confident that I can share my knowledge with other women in their mothering journey.

A big thank you to all the women in the class who trusted the group enough to share their personal stories.  Also, I was so thankful to Jesse for making her way to Texas from Oregon to share her expansive knowledge with us.  She also did an amazing job of facilitating the workshop so we felt safe in our sharing with others.  I look forward to working with all these women in the future!

This trust can carry over to other realms as well.  Specifically to my recent blog theme, I know that there are many times when it would be nice to have an experienced mentor in my faith journey.  I liken the role of a doula to the duties of a spiritual director.  It seems funny that I have worked to fulfill both of these roles through certification.  Although it will not always be the case, I can see these two roles intertwining.  Building the trust of clients in both situations is important as it builds a relationship upon trust to share without judgment.  The idea also is to guide not advise in both situations.  Ultimately, the decision of the client is theirs...we are only there to assist.  The client must trust that we are benevolent in our assistance.