Be Still

I have struggled with patience most of my life...I just have a hard time gaining this virtue...I pray for it daily and I know that is my own fault that I do not seem to obtain this grace.

Is it because I want to control my surroundings...my future?  Or is it because I have trust issues?  I try to give myself over to God's will...I try to trust in God's plan.  And yet...I struggle.

I do not have patience with myself to change...it is very evident as I try to lose weight...live healthier...be a better person.  I want the change to happen NOW!  Why cannot I not see the effects of my attempts immediately?

I do not have patience with those around me...why can they not do the "right" thing?  I hold this high standard for myself as well as others.

I know this is not a good thing and yet I cannot seem to change.

This Lent...I am trying to give myself over to God in this aspect of my life.  I am trying to BE patient as I seek to BECOME patient!

This Sunday I heard the song that will become my theme as I work through this transformation...

"Be Still"

Be still and know that I'm with you

Be still and know that I am here

Be still and know that I'm with you

Be still, be still, and know

When darkness comes upon you

And covers you with fear and shame

Be still and know that I'm with you

And I will say your name

If terror falls upon your bed

And sleep no longer comes

Remember all the words I said

Be still, be still, and know

And when you go through the valley

And the shadow comes down from the hill

If morning never comes to be

Be still, be still, be still

If you forget the way to go

And lose where you came from

If no one is standing beside you

Be still and know I am

Be still and know that I'm with you

Be still and know I am

I ask that God work through me and transform me into the person He wants me to be.  I will try to be still as he works his miracle in me.


As I wait, I know that he is already testing me.  I had to patiently await for my dear friend to arrive for a visit on Saturday.  I had to wait longer than I expected but I remained calm...reminding myself...as I told the children...that my friend and her children would arrive at the right time for them.  We could wait without worry or strain on our desires.  She did come and we had a great time.

I also listened to a VERY scientific explanation of the beautifully simple healing qualities of essential oils.  I was so blessed to have such an expert in my home to assure me that these oils can help my family.  I just do not think my brain could fully grasp all that was being said about them.  However, I do love knowing that there are such experts who are assisting me on my new journey into oil therapy and healing.

I also had to wait patiently as the paint dried on my little saints.  Zaira now calls these little dolls her babies.  Imagine her surprise when she finds out that they are not 50 duplicate dolls but a heavenly array of various saints for her to enjoy on Easter morning!  I am coming to the time when the easy part is coming to an end.  I will need to start working on the details tomorrow...faces...hands...rosary.  I can do this!  I have not an artistic bone in my body but with God's grace...and the patience only HE can provide...I will make these little Mother Teresa dolls to be enjoyed by all.