And the Results are In!

May 28 (Thursday)...all tests and procedures complete. Now for another visit with my oncologist. I knew he would have all the results and put it all together in one big package for me to understand. 

He told me that the PET scan results came back the previous Saturday and the radiologist called on his day off to discuss my case. My body lit up with the cancer in my liver but then surprised him when it also lit up in my bones. We now know that the cancer has spread to my skull and right femur. I would later find out that a possible spot on my back  also. All of these spots are small at this time and I will need radiation.  This was unexpected and verifies that I have stage 4 cancer. However, our primary concern remains the liver tumors and the large polyp in my colon. 

The plan is to treat the liver with a method called embolization (glass beads placed in the arteries feeding the liver tumors to help shrink). This would take two procedures going from one lobe to the next. This process would include chemo or radiation to be determined by the radiologist. Then I would have the colon polyp removed and biopsied. Once these procedures were complete we would complete radiation to the cancer in bone. Then reevaluate the situation. This would like take most of the summer.

 

When he finished his evaluation, he asked if I had questions. My response was to know when we could get started. That was all he needed to hear to set everything in motion. He would call me back after scheduling the first procedure.

More Testing But Moving in the Right Direction

 May 13 (Wednesday)...the next step in the process was to rule out all other cancer origins. So I would need to have a colonoscopy. Turns out you don’t just have a colonoscopy without meeting the doctor first so I had to set that up. 

I met with the GI specialist (Dr. Bullock) by telemed. I felt like this was more of a formality. Yes, I am a living breathing person. Yes, the doctor had read my file case and agreed i needed to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy done as soon as it could be scheduled. 

Box checked and procedures scheduled for later in the month.

May 20(Wednesday)... a scheduled PET scan took place today. This scan would tell us if there was active cancer cells in my body. It was painless. It was a time for prayer. I felt confident that we were making progress to determine the extent of the cancer. 

I thought I was told to fast for this procedure. So i did not eat that morning. I figured I was going to be starting prep for the colonoscopy the next day so I was just getting a head start. My last meal was the night before. Turns out I could have eaten that day. Oh well...a little less food would not hurt me.

May 21 (Thursday). I had been warned that the colonoscopy purge was worse than the treatment. I believe that to be a true statement. Not a fun experience but after that it was not so bad.  Thankful for the meal provided that night by friends. I would not have been able to prepare a meal and of course could not eat it.

May 22 (Friday). Arrived two hours early to sit in waiting room. I slept most of that time. The colonoscopy and endoscopy were a breeze. No adverse side effects. Ready to go home but was told I had to wait for doctor. Since I was seeing others leave quickly from recovery I knew my procedure did not have good results. 

My mom was even allowed to come in and wait with me. And we waited for almost two hours. I guess the specialist had to finish all other procedures before he would have time to talk to us. We were the last ones to leave except a poor woman who needed to be admitted to hospital. Bless her heart. I spent a lot of my waiting time praying for her. 

The doctor finally got out to tell me that i had several polyps in the my stomach and colon. All were removed and would be biopsied except one very large (peach sized) polyp that would need to be removed surgically. And along with the polyps I had erosive gastritis which is a inflammation of the stomach lining. 

This meant more waiting for results before we could progress to treatment. I hoped to have results when i met with  Dr. Drengler the following week.

The Test of Patience

May 4 (Monday)... in the grand scheme of things ten days is not a long time but even my oncologist had hoped this first test would happen earlier. I just looked at it as a time to gather my prayer warriors. Also get used to the idea that i was now going to spend more time in a doctor’s office than any other time in my life (other than routine prenatal care). 

Now the day had come for my biopsy. Maybe those liver masses would be benign. This is what we wanted to find out. 

I arrived early for a full panel of blood work. I had never seen so many vials for me to fill with my precious blood!  But i got it done. Then off to the biopsy procedure. 

I was told that after the procedure it would feel like I had done a crunch work out. He lied!  Wow!  That was painful!  I did not even know how painful until I was back home and the pain meds wore off. I could barely move it hurt so much. That pain lasted three days. But I got through it. Lots of talking to God during that time. 

My crew were so good. They let me rest. All of this time (from the initial nausea in April) I woke up each morning feeling nausea. The crew took over all chores so they knew the routine well. School continued also and it was quickly going to come to an end thanks to their diligence. 

The biopsy results came in by the end of the week and definitely cancer. Up until this point, I kept it low key with the children. Also did not talk much about it with my college student. He had finals to worry about. 

By this time, all were ready to hear the full news and what was to come. Everyone was home except the two oldest girls. I got one on the phone and the other I prayed would find out some way. 

They all took it well. We prayed for the doctors and that was the extent of the results revealed. I think the crew just fed off the peaceful message I gave them. That is how I wanted it to be. Have faith and see what is to come. It is still early and much to discover.

The First Time I Realized God was with Me on this Ride

 April 24 (Friday)... I was sent in alone again (I actually drove myself to this appointment) but was met by a friendly cowboy with bandanna and all. He greeted me with a Howdy and God bless you!  I told him it was a serious place if he could get away with blessing people as they entered the building. He told me that if people did not like it, then they would need to tell him to his face (pulling down his bandanna for emphasis). He made me laugh as he checked my temperature. I have never seen this man since that first day. 

I proceeded to the appointment to have lab work done and then a visit with  Dr. Drengler. I was told I could have someone on the phone to listen and ask questions, so I asked a good friend who knew about cancer join me. We were prepared for a doctor speaking above our knowledge base and needed someone to help us weed through it all. Angie Artho was so kind to be that person. I so appreciate her giving her time that day. 

However, it turns out  Dr. Drengler knew how to talk on our level. Gave us the information we needed. Checked my organs externally. Told me that he knew he needed to see me right away because I appeared to have a rare liver cancer. We would need to to do some follow up testing to verify what he suspected. He was great!  He had a plan of action right from the start. I felt comfortable talking to him. A great start to begin the battle at hand.

I knew then that God was directing this roller coaster ride and I would ride it out until the end.  God would have a good ending for this story, which ever direction I was taken. 

I Need to Stop Making Assumptions

 April 22 (Wednesday). I wanted to meet with a priest so I made an appointment with the secretary and got in right away. I was a little leery but knew it was the right choice to visit the priest who I worked for even though we did not part on the best of terms. He is still an amazing priest and I wanted his prayers and experience. 

I guess I need to stop making assumptions. I assumed the secretary would tell the priest why I wanted to visit with him. Looking back now I think he might have got the impression I wanted my job back. I had not spoken to him in three months. I also started our conversation with a talk about how I know that God’s plan is not the same as ours. Everything happens for a reason. 

When I realized he had know idea what I was trying to say, it dawned on me that he really had no idea why I was there. So I told him straight out that I most likely had some form of cancer and I wanted him to pray for me. He was quite surprised and said he was shocked. I told him we were all shocked but this was the path I was on now. 

We spoke for quite some time about God’s will and prayer. He promised to pray a St. Jude novena for me. We left each other with little fanfare. No welcoming me back to the parish. No anointing. I felt a little let down but satisfied that God is bigger than us all. I was still being taken care of regardless.

Later in the day I was called by the oncologist liaison. She took my general information and insurance. She verified that all the reports were turned in for her to review from the ER and primary doctor. She then told me she would present my case to the oncologist. If he chose to take my case an appointment would be made with him. 

That was probably the only time I felt a little stressed. Can doctors refuse to provide care?  Would there be enough information provided for him to make this choice?

In the end, I gave this over to God. Prayed the right doctor would be there for me. My God did not fail me!  He is so good!  I was at peace again. 

The next afternoon the liaison called and  Dr. Dr was now my oncologist and he wanted to see me as soon as possible. 

 Praise God!!

A Trip of Confusion at the Doctor's Office

 April 21 (Tuesday). I got an appointment to be seen for a referral. I think the messages got mixed up in translation and I was viewed as a new patient coming in for a initial consultation. I think that is a little strange because who would do that in the middle of a pandemic but that is how they were treating me. I was so clueless though because I assumed it was just their routine since i had not been seen in six years. I assumed once I got to the doctor (actually saw a PA) then we would discuss the ER visit. 

I was a little surprised when he began asking me about routine testing and did not seemed concerned about the matter at hand. It was almost comical when he asked what brought me to the office and i told him about the ER visit. He had an assistant typing notes beside him. He stood up and starting backing out the door and said he would be right back. He grabbed his assistant on the way out. I wish I had a video because you could tell he was thrown off guard and did not know what to say to this calm woman telling him she had large liver masses who just wanted an oncologist referral. 

He came back in a few minutes later and said an oncologist would be calling me within 24 hours and I still should consider following up with these other routine checks. 

So that was my primary doctor appointment. Short and sweet and I obtained what I really needed. So I guess it was a positive experience.

How Will We Move Forward?

 April 19 (Sunday) I spoke to my mom because she woke up before the others. She knew it was serious right away and wanted to know what I was going to do. 

Let me say...I am not against medicine. Some people think I am because I have the view that if I am not sick then there is no reason to go to doctor. I do regular female checks (but I was behind on these also) and if I knew of any medicinal check point I would have done them but had not reached any of those points yet. The last doctor visit was in 2014 because I suspect I had a thyroid issue. I was told then I was just having the old “female” issues and no concerns to worry about. The PA offered me diet pills and I refused. Started exercising more and eating healthier. We were already healthy eaters with only a few occasions eating out and rarely eating processed foods. My decision was to limit my portion sizes and take more hikes. It seemed to help so all was back on track. 

Jump forward back to what my plan would be now. I told my mom I was still considered a patient so I would call for follow up with this same doctor and have a referral to oncologist. No big deal. 

I woke up the children later in the morning so we could follow our Mass of choice and then sat them down and told them what I knew which was very little. I even showed them a diagram of the abdominal organs. My lovely teen commented that everything did not need to be a science lesson. We laughed and everyone went about their day. All was well.